change my way of thinking

college vs directionless abyss

2010-03-03T17:46:00.000-08:00

An article in today’s Oregonian shares the news that Oregon high schools are “not preparing students for college and careers”

This report responds to concerns that the state will not meet “Oregon Progress Board's goal of seeing at least 20 percent of our youth graduate from high school, another 40 percent from community college and 40 percent more from a four-year college or university.”

I’ve been pondering on the topic of college and career preparation in high schools for a few weeks now.

We’ve seen many articles and studies demonstrating fewer men are attending college. Theories abound about how to attract men to the four-year college experience, yet there are very few suggestions as to where the men are going after high school.

I know a 22-year-old who just joined the US military. He did this not out of patriotic duty, but because in the four years since high school he has suffered from an absolute loss of direction. Now, as some of his high school classmates are preparing to graduate from college, he’s shipping out in hopes that the military can help develop his skills and show him options he doesn’t currently see.

My little sister is about to graduate from high school and hopes to go to college, yet her facebook profile proclaims a weekly dread of academia.

The question isn’t how well young people are prepared for college; the question is what do they do if they don’t go to college?

I attended college against great adversity. I am the only person in my immediate family to attend college, much less finish. My closest relative to also hold a bachelor’s degree is my dad’s cousin. I believe in the opportunity for every young person to be presented with the option to attend college – in fact provision of those opportunities has become my life’s work thus far – but there should be more than one option.

Perhaps my sister will follow my path and perhaps she won’t, but I promise we have both been fed the same statement with regard to success in life -- attending college is the only way to find success.

College worked for me. I enjoyed academia and flourished in the culture. It has helped bring me success. But, I can’t help think I got lucky. I’m not lucky to be successful (I worked hard for my success), but I am lucky the things I am good at happen to be the things society values.

So, let’s say the Oregon Progress Board achieves their goal of college attendance for 40% of the population by placing the premium of success on the college experience. What happens to the other 60%?

Will they simply wander directionless through life?

It seems the state of Oregon would be better served by taking a realistic approach and offering a suite of options including college, community college, trade and tech school, military service and certification programs.

High school students should be taught they have multiple options – not College vs. Directionless Abyss.

remembering lucy stone

2010-02-16T18:18:00.000-08:00

In a moment of particular frustration about my name and the fact that the world does not understand the hyphen, I am reminded of Lucy Stone who was always my favorite of the suffragettes (I think because her name is so awesome). Lucy gave us this:

"A wife should no more take her husband's name than he should hers. My name is my identity and must not be lost."

Lucy Stone was the first American woman to keep her birth name upon marriage. Although many countries do not allow anyone, man or woman, to change their birth name, apparently the U.S. has always felt strongly that women should accept their husband's name at marriage.

"When women were given a limited right to vote in 1879, Stone was refused this right unless she used her husband’s name. She also found that her signature was not considered valid on legal documents, unless she signed as 'Lucy Stone, married to Henry Blackwell.'" (source)

I adore my dash. It symbolizes the transition I made in life when I entered into marriage. I am still my own person, but I am now part of a partnership.

Like Lucy, my husband is wholeheartedly welcoming of combining our names. Although he did not change his legally, he is happy to write out both names, joined with a beautifully poetic hyphen as the return address on all of our mail. He is happy to be called by both names and recognizes and respects my need to retain my identity.

The Social Security Administration recognizes my dash, so does the State Department who granted my passport and the Department of Motor Vehicles. So, why can't everyone?

Yes, I'm talking to you US Bank! And you, Blockbuster! And you all airline companies! And you ...

What did Lucy Stone and the rest of the suffragettes fight for, if not the right to be our own people? The right to vote, work outside the home, wear pants, request a divorce and be protected from domestic violence also comes with the right to choose our own last name. If we want to keep our name, change or name or hyphenate our name, we should have the right to do so. And that choice belongs to each of us and the world should recognize and respect it without question.

Thank you Lucy Stone, for giving it a try. I'm sad to report that some of us still fight your struggle more than 130 years later.

new blog

2009-11-30T07:25:00.000-08:00

The husband and I will be chronicling our adventures in home ownership here.

searching for happier news

2009-11-30T07:01:00.000-08:00

My google news feed has recently alerted me to the reality of far too many unstable people carrying guns in Washington County. We have had at least three fatal shootings in little more than a week. I doubt our little set of country suburbs is any different than any other part of the nation right over the past year. It has seemed that the news has been filled with an abundance of violent crime.

In such times of trouble I like to keep on scrolling right on down to the entertainment news where the headlines are lighter, if not a bit boring.

Pamela Bach arrested for DUI, ex-husband David Hasselhoff released from hospital
'New Moon' Overshadows 'The Blind Side' At Box Office
Reputed 'Other Woman' Denies Affair with Tiger
'Michael Jackson's This Is It' DVD To Hit Shelves On January 26

Ah, but what is this? "Chelsea Clinton Engaged to Marc Mezvinsky" A headline guaranteed to make me smile.

I've always held a bit of fascinatioon with Chelsea Clinton who moved into the White House when we were twelve.

I watched in horror when we were thirteen and the media ran her through the wringer for not being pretty enough.

I watched in horror again when we were 18 and scandal ripped apart her world.

I watched with pride when she went off to college, a year ahead of me.

I watched with pride again when she campaigned for her mother and impressed the world.

And now I watch with joy.

Best wishes to Chelsea Clinton on the happy occasion of marriage!

talkin' the homeowner blues

2009-11-12T12:29:00.000-08:00

I am sitting in a very nice hotel room that smells moderately of cigarette smoke. Our nation's capitol unfolds around me under a gray drizzle chilled by fierce wind.

I look forward to this time tomorrow when I will return home to gray drizzle chilled by fierce wind. The history of a country cannot compare to the history of our new farm house and all of the projects it brings.

Yesterday I was finally able to scrape the last of the weekend paint from my skin. I suppose if I am to be a messy painter it may as well drip down my arms and send flecks into my hair than drips and flecks on the walls and floors.

Though it takes time, the painting is a manageable pursuit. I can't think of the other projects for long before the anxiety grips my lungs. I can't let my thoughts stray too far toward the thought of a condo lacking gutters in need of repair or I start to lose my enthusiasm for my delightful house.

I suppose to be a homeowner means, among many satisfying forms of joy, an ownership of dirt and mold and questionable pipes and countless hours of work.

Here's to home ownership and all the adventures it may bring!

success in the hunt

2009-09-22T19:26:00.000-07:00

So, I had originally planned to post a few of our favorite houses to the blog, but we ended up having just one favorite. We viewed 10 houses in one day. Two of them were immediately ruled out. Seven of the remaining houses were ranch houses -- virtually indistinct from the others. This left us with one house. It's a great house -- 1910 farm house. So how does it stack up against the list?

.25 Acres | .18 acres
3+ bedrooms (separated by floor plan or multi-story) | 3 bedrooms on two levels
2+ bathrooms | 1.5 bathrooms
Wood flooring throughout (tile in kitchen, bathrooms) | wood except the kitchen and half bath which have laminate
Open kitchen w/ island and window(s) | Fairly open kitchen w/ windows and tons of possibility
Natural, solid-surface kitchen counters | Countertops in dire need of replacing, some laminate, some natural
Wood cabinetry | Wood cabinetry (possibly original or at least very old)
Gas cook top | Gas cook top
Electric oven | Gas oven
Energy efficient refrigerator| No refrigerator (yet)
Dishwasher| Dishwasher
Double sink | Not sure ...
Designated dining room | Designated dining room
Laundry room with sink and folding counter | Mudroom with hookups
Detached (or low focal point) garage | Detached (huge!) garage
Near good elementary school, library, shopping, parks | Across the street from school, within ten minutes of library, shopping and parks
Established neighborhood with sidewalks | Fairly established but possibly transitioning to commercial
Central Location (20-40 minutes to Forest Grove, Portland and Oregon City) | 15 minutes to F.G., 30 minutes to PDX, 50 minutes to O.C.

Considering my list was intended too be a dream list a la House Hunters, I think we did pretty darn good! When the husband took a look at the list he added a few items, molding, built-ins, outbuildings (all of which the house has). Also, this house falls well within our budget where all the ranches pushed a little past comfortable.

We go for our second look tomorrow afternoon and then we'll likely place an offer. Here's hoping...

the house hunt begins

2009-09-11T22:13:00.000-07:00

I've been watching many, many episodes of House Hunters this year, thanks to hulu.com. I spend most of the viewing time mocking the "hunters" for their mindless wish for the exact same thing as everyone else ever featured on the show. (I swear they are coached!) The show provides fascinating insight into the priorities of the American public.

Every single couple is after hardwood floors, dark kitchen cabinetry, stainless steel appliances, granite counters, double vanity sinks in the bathroom and more square footage than they can possibly need. And every single woman ever featured on that show wants a closet the size of my bedroom. Oh, and they all adore tray ceilings and crown molding. (Incidentally they call all molding "crown" molding.)

This not to say that these are not good attributes in a house, but I just wish House Hunters would find a new story. I am slightly ashamed to admit that I was not-so-secretly delighted to learn that some granite counters can emit potentially cancer-causing levels of radiation. Take that House Hunters!

The husband and I are about to begin the hunt for our urban homestead and I've been thinking constantly about what I am looking for in a house. If we were featured on House Hunters, the opening sequence would be us detailing the following wish list.

Best Case Scenario House

.25 Acres
3+ bedrooms (separated by floor plan or multi-story)
2+ bathrooms
Wood flooring throughout (tile in kitchen, bathrooms)
Open kitchen w/ island and window(s)
Natural, solid-surface kitchen counters
Wood cabinetry
Gas cook top
Electric oven
Energy efficient refrigerator
Dishwasher
Double sink
Designated dining room
Laundry room with sink and folding counter
Detached (or low focal point) garage
Near good elementary school, library, shopping, parks
Established neighborhood with sidewalks
Central Location (20-40 minutes to Forest Grove, Portland and Oregon City)

(This is the point in the post when I know every homeowner reading this is rolling their eyes and I shaking their heads at my silly naivete.)

Of course I won't find all of these things, but I hope we can have the potential for most of them in our home.

We're nearly finished saving for our down-payment. Our next step is visiting with a mortgage broker and then hopefully house hunting by this time next month!

Stay tuned -- perhaps I'll post three houses with a chance for guesses as to which we'll pick!

ten stray thoughts

2009-08-10T22:13:00.000-07:00

I am due for a tetanus shot this month. I am also headed to my ten-year high school reunion next week. I feel roughly the same about these two events.

I spent the weekend in Seattle. I watched hundreds of people waiting for dozens of buses.

I spent both Friday and Saturday afternoons forcing myself to read The Zookeeper's Wife at coffee shops.

I went to the doctor today to see a specialist for my 18-month long ear infection. The doctor put purple dye in my ears. I'm not sure why.

Work has me burned out. I think at least once each day of joining a gym and taking a class. I suspect these things will not happen.

I miss living in Portland so much that I feel it in my soul.

Our good friends had a beautiful baby boy yesterday.

I am going to Los Angeles next month.

I took my engagement ring in to be cleaned today and the scary British clerk got very annoyed that the stone is loose and took it away from me. I don't get it back until next Tuesday.

I miss my husband.

driven to the right

2009-07-28T07:41:00.000-07:00

Apparently I think like a republican.

I was quite shocked to learn that the cell phone ban in Oregon was a partisan issue. And even more shocked to realize I agree with the republicans.

I do not believe it should be a primary offense to talk on a cell phone while driving.

I've read about a lot of studies that show cell phones are distracting and can increase the likelihood of a crash by anywhere from 1.3% to 23% -- including a the recent one from Virginia Tech Transportation Institute.

The University of Utah released a study in 2008 that demonstrated evidence that cell phone users drive slower and pass less.

There is great debate on whether or not "hands-free" devices make the roads any safer and a general consensus that texting while driving is unsafe.

There are also many statements and studies indicated the number of accidents caused by cell phone use has increased with the adoption of cell phones. The Oregon Department of Transportation states that crashes caused by cell phone use in Oregon increased by 82% from 2004 to 2007.

And of course there is a plethora of anecdotal evidence and laboratory-based studies.

What I have yet to read is a study demonstrating that the overall number of crashes or traffic fatalities has increased with the prevalence of cell phones. In fact, everything I have read indicates that those two factors have remained relatively steady.

I believe and agree with every study cited above. I certainly agree that texting while a vehicle is in motion can increase likelihood of a crash and should be a primary offense. I do believe that drivers talking on their cell phones crash and that cell phones have been used during an increased number of crashes.

(Incidentally I also believe that if we asked 271 million American drivers to drive with pumpkins on their backseat the number of accidents "caused" by pumpkins would skyrocket.)

What I don't yet believe is that the cell phones are the primary cause of crashes. I believe bad driving is the cause of crashes. Take away the cell phone and bad driving is still going to cause crashes.

I also strongly disagree that cell phone use should ever be a primary traffic violation. It should be, as it is in many states (including Oregon until Jan. 1), a secondary offense. This means drivers can only be stopped for breaking primary traffic laws, but they can be penalized further if they are talking on the phone while driving unsafely.

I do however, reserve the right to change my mind on this issue.

As soon as a report is released indicating that the number of traffic collisions and traffic fatalities has increased since the advent of the cell phone, I will agree that they should be banned.

In the meantime if my opinion means I think like a republican, so be it.

dreams of our homestead

2009-07-07T11:15:00.000-07:00

I am married to a man who can really cook! He also brews his own beer and kombucha tea, grows almost all of our summer vegetables, preserves fruits and vegetables and has aspirations of brewing wine and growing, not some, but all of our produce.

I have aspirations of raising chickens, learning to sew and someday maybe even planning menus that don't require the microwave. For the holidays in 2008 we gave entirely handmade or locally-produced gifts.

We're looking to buy a house and lot size has become our primary priority. The list of things we want to grow is longer than the features we look for in a dwelling.

We didn't wake one day and decide we wanted to live our lives a certain way, but over the past two years, we've slowly transitioned into highly domestic creatures.

Some friends gave me a book they bought at the Urban Farm Store in Portland. The hottest debate in our town this year has been over the right to raise backyard chickens. Yesterday I found this book at Powells. It was not alone on the shelf. There is a plethora of material available about creating sustainable oases in urban areas. It seems that backyard farming is the newest hot thing!

The husband and I did not set out to be trendy. We had these thoughts on our own and they were fueled by things we've read. It just seems right. For us it does not feel like a fad. It does not feel temporary. It feels like a lifestyle we can sustain.

But I can't help but wonder, how do we know if we're a part of a movement, a social shift, or if we're just riding the latest cool wave?

good bye, old friend

2009-06-30T00:15:00.000-07:00

In seventh grade I, like most thirteen-year-old girls, agonized over every aspect of my appearance. And nothing was more important that clean-shaven legs.

Anyone who knows me now knows that clean-shaven legs are fairly low on my list of priorities. It's not that I'm opposed to it on any principal, I frankly just don't care that much.

It was in the spirit of not caring that much that I bought the Schick Personal Touch shaver some nine years ago. I don't remember exactly when I bought it, but I remember quite clearly that my friends made fun of me. I can't remember exactly what they said, but I remember knowing that this amber-colored stem of plastic was distinctly uncool.

I also can't remember exactly what possessed me to pass up the Gillette Venus, which I'm pretty sure my friends both bought, but I seem to remember being drawn to the stability and lack of flair in the Schick Personal Touch. I knew nothing of planned obsolescence at the time, but perhaps I understood that the cute models would soon be outdated, forcing their owners to invest in another $12 shaver with $19 blades.

It was my tendency to neglect shaving that caused me not to notice a quiet shift in the shaving needs aisle. Apparently sometime between now and the last time I bought blades (which was probably at least four years ago) the Schick Personal Touch has left the market.

So it was with great sadness and even greater frustration that I stood in the shaving aisle at not one, but two, stores tonight searching for my new razor. How do you pick a new one when you never thought you'd have to. My shaver took me all through college, it traveled to England and then to California by bike. It's been on at least a dozen small trips for fun and business. It's often been neglected, but it has always worked. I've had it longer than I've known the husband.

Standing in the shaving aisle, reviewing my options, now fully aware of planned obsolescence, I can't help but be bitter. I eventually picked a new one, but know that I will not get nine years out of it before it too is quietly pulled for the market and I am forced to buy another.

america the cultish

2009-05-11T07:38:00.000-07:00

On Friday I baby sat so some friends could go see the new Star Trek movie. The husband and I will likely go see it as soon as we have the chance. We love Star Trek in almost all incarnations. I wouldn't call us Trekkies yet, we have no costumes, no urge to attend conventions and no ability to speak cling-on. We do not live in Star Trek world.

We also watch LOST. After nearly every episode, we are compelled to google the show to find a site to help us remember some minute detail from season two. Inevitability this takes us to fan sites. Fan sites for LOST are a thing to be seen. The information catalogued there is astounding. Although, we visit the sites, we're not sitting at home freeze framing shots to document the numbers displayed on a character's drivers license in hopes of finding hidden meaning.

When I was 11 I was obsessed with the Miss America contest. This was around the time I started to feel too old for Barbie. Miss America was a nice substitute. But the interest faded and I didn't think about Miss America much until last year. Due to events in my professional life, I now know quite a bit about the pageant world. It is not unlike Star Trek world or LOST world (or a myriad of other cultish worlds one can enter into). I am still an observer, but just like a LOST fan site, I can get answers when I need them.

Here is what I know about Miss California (so far). Miss USA contestants are not judged on what they say but rather how they say it. Delivery is more important than content. Now, I have not actually heard the anti-gay rights speech, only read the text, but I am told the delivery was terrible. So, by that rule, Miss California would have lost regardless of what she had said.

It seems that Miss California has lashed out at, not only the gay community, but the entire pageantry world.

(It also seems, that with the nude photos, someone is lashing back.)

I have no patience for anyone (particularly Americans who tout the land of the free), who wishes to restrict the civil rights of another person or group of people. But, I also note that this is a complicated and messy business, defining civil rights, defining opinion and sorting out when one impacts the other.

I do have a lot of respect for pageant contestants who carry themselves with grace. This is their world and they own it. They make the rules and should live by them.

Miss California not has carried herself with an ounce of grace and she has certainly not lived by the rules of her world. It seems perfectly acceptable that she move on to another world.

I wish I could say good riddance, but I think we've likely not heard the last of her.

fleet glory lasting genius (part two)

2009-05-08T07:18:00.000-07:00

On September 13, 2006 I asked the world to take a look at the Billboard 200.

Today, I ask you again to take a look at the Billboard 200, and the Billboard Top Digital Albums and the Billboard Top Internet Albums and the Billboard Top Rock Albums and the Billboard comprehensive Albums. Issue Date: 2009-05-16

You might also like to check out the most recent issue of Rolling Stone. (By the way, when did they change their size? I hadn't bought a Rolling Stone since I was 19.)

I marvel that this man has been on the cover of Rolling Stone 16 times. I also marvel that the article is yet another rant about how the media just wants to stereotype, while simultaneously offering nothing to challenge the stereotypes. Brilliant!

I bought this issue of Rolling Stone and I bought the album. I now own 25 of 33 studio albums. Just eight left!

Well done old man, well done.

i've been hit

2009-05-05T07:22:00.000-07:00

I was tagged. I've never been tagged. Are there rules to being tagged? Is it like a chain letter and a life time of bad luck with ensue if you don't comply. On second thought I might have been tagged before. I complied that time. I should probably do the same this time. Bad luck is dangerous stuff.

What's your current obsession?
Babies. Houses for sale.

What keeps you going when days are hard?
Thinking about a future with my family in a home I own.

What are you wearing today?
Uncomfortable work clothes. I have GOT to lose weight. I’ve always had a rule in life that I refuse to buy new clothes when I gain weight. I’ve also taken my pants being snug as a signal that it’s time to cut back on the chocolate and start walking more. Somehow this was WAY easier five years ago.

Why is today special?
Today is May 5. My parents marriage certificate is dated May 5 because they wanted to relive the line “I married Isis on the 5th day of May” from the song Isis on Bob Dylan’s album Desire. They were unable to find someone to marry them until May 20.

What would you like to learn to do?
Sew. Not any time soon. But someday.

What's for dinner today?
Oh, jeez. Probably cottage cheese and pineapple. Unless the husband insists we go out. Our fridge is very full of very dated food.

What's the last thing you bought?
A cup of coffee at the campus coffee shop. Every time I buy coffee there it has a different price. Today it was $0.99

What's your favorite weather?
If you ask me in August, I’ll say rain. Ask me right now, in early May, when it has not stopped raining since September, and I’m not going to say rain.

What's your most challenging goal right now?
Not being overwhelmed.

What do you think about the person who tagged you?
Oh! A question that makes me think happy thoughts. C. is fabulous. I am so delighted that the fates decided for our paths to cross! We started work at the same place within a month of one another and revel in the many things we have in common. Strikingly similar world views. Sadness and delight over many of the same things. Common wishes. I cannot express how nice it is to have such a friend.

If you could have a house totally paid for, fully furnished anywhere in the world, where would you like it to be?
Honestly, it would be in Stars Hollow, Connecticut. Oops – no such place! I think it would be in one of Portland’s great neighborhoods in northeast or southeast. This question makes me sad.

Favorite vacation spot?
So many places! Anywhere in Europe. Or Kauai. This question also kind of makes me sad.

What would you like to have in your hands right now?
Nothing. But I am alternating typing with drinking my somewhat disgusting cup of coffee. (The one that cost $0.99.)

What would you like to get rid of?
My ear infection. (And the aforementioned weight.)

If you could go anywhere in the world for the next hour, where would you go?
An hour is far too short. I think I’d like to be somewhere with the husband where neither of us can think about work or school or anything stressful.

What's your favorite thing about the city you live in?
I love the University. And that it has more sidewalks than other Portland suburbs.

If you had $150 now what would you spend it on?
A massage and a pedicure. (Not really – it would go into our checking account and get spent on 150 cups of $0.99 coffee.)

If and when you buy a magazine at the airport, what do you buy?
I used to buy Vanity Fair. It is the perfect magazine for the airport. Smart and fun. But then I asked for a subscription so I can’t buy it at the airport. And I don’t have time to read it every month. Bad move. Last time I bought People. After skipping all of the “celebrities” I had never heard of I was finished reading in five minutes.

Describe your personal style.
Basic. I like clean lines. No clutter. Solid colors.

Who's art show would you want tickets to?
Art show? I went to an art show once – Andy Warhol at Tate Modern in London. That really can’t be beat. I am done with art.

What are three live shows that you have seen?
I’ve seen Bob Dylan five times. I’ve seen Wilco, Tom Petty and Jude (twice).

At this point C. said her readers deserved a cupcake. I am still waiting for mine.

Now, the rules of this tag:

RULE 1 | Respond and rework. Answer the questions; replace one question you dislike with a question of your own invention. (I replaced two.)

RULE 2 | Tag 7 other people you would love to learn more about. Here are mine, should they chose to oblige: (I only picked 5. I think that's enough to keep bad luck at bay.)

First Timers
Perspective from a Fish Bowl
Insights & Comments
Random Nonsense
Welcome to my Truth

happy spring!

2009-03-23T00:03:00.000-07:00

what routine?

2009-03-09T22:00:00.000-07:00

My friend over at First Timers asked the question, “what is your routine?”

Here it is:

<Insert extensive post that details my day and makes me sound incredibly depressing and depressed.>

So that was a really healthy exercise in identifying why I feel absolutely awful lately. Rather than write about my day, (which is honestly really boring and a tiny bit pathetic) I will detail my ideal routine.

6 a.m. wake up and run/ exercise
6:45 a.m. shower & get dressed
7:15 cook and eat breakfast
7:45 depart for the office (stopping at Dutch Brothers)
8:00 a.m. begin working efficiently
Noon lunch
1 p.m. return to working efficiently
5 p.m. depart for home
5:15 p.m. begin cooking dinner
5:45 p.m. eat dinner
6:15 p.m. Clean
6:45 p.m. watch TV
8:45 p.m. read
9:45 p.m. get ready for bed
10 p.m. sleep

This routine has all of the things I know I need to be a healthy human, but I am currently not getting. Regular meals. Exercise. Regular sleep. Intellectual stimulation.

And it has some things that I totally don’t need but that I enjoy. Coffee. TV.

Really, it’s the perfect routine.

So why is it so hard to achieve?

house lust

2009-03-07T22:52:00.000-08:00

I am reading Loving Frank by Nancy Horan, the story of Frank Lloyd Wright and his mistress. Early in the novel a passage jumped out at me:

"You know what'll be in this field someday? Little boxes iced with stucco that some horse's ass will call 'prairie houses.' Complete with 'Frank Lloyd Wright windows' bought for nothing from cheap glass company in Chicago. Do you see the irony of it?" ... "I've been a pariah in this town since I moved here, and now I've got imitators! They think it's just a matter of stripping the frills off, like dress reformers. The son's of bitches don't have the intelligence to steal the right ideas."

Often these days my thoughts turn to houses. The husband and I would really like to buy a home soon, but among the many challenges of doing so, is my need to bring to life an ideal.

We would love to live in Portland, but that dream has long since dissipated. After two years (!) on the outskirts of metropolis, we're spoiled withe the idea of a large lot where we can grow our food and family. What we can buy out here, we can't come close to affording in the city. Yet I still struggle.

I have an image in my head of a sweet little house where my children can play out front and walk (on a sidewalk) to the library, school and the park. Though there are plenty of neighborhoods like this in Portland, they're harder to find in the suburbs.

Last weekend, while walking in northeast Portland I finally figured out why I struggle so much with where we will live. It's all Beverly Cleary's fault.

When I was a kid I devoured her books and fell in love with the world she created for Ramona on Klickitat Street. Traversing the sidewalks in Cleary's childhood neighborhood, I realized that she gave me unrealistic expectations about life.

I'm not asking for anything spectacular in a house. I'd like something large enough to raise a family in with room for a garden. I'd like a neighborhood that is safe and inviting and doesn't require that I get in the car for every activity.

I'm not asking for the house to be in perfect condition. I am willing to tackle a project. I'm not asking the house to be huge. I would really like a modest house with character -- no "little boxes iced with stucco" please. I just want a place where I can build a home. I want a place where I can create a history. A place where I can grow old with my husband.

These house hopes and dreams aren't unreasonable, yet somewhere in history we forgot to create them. As we peruse the listings we see dozens of bland ranch houses built on streets without sidewalks with more attention given to the garage than to a functional floor plan.

More recently constructed houses have beautiful kitchens and spacious bedrooms, yet the yards are smaller than the living rooms and the garage still dominates.

These houses are affordable and those built in the early part of the century (with functional living spaces, big yards, detached garages and sidewalks) are astronomically expensive.

We haven't officially started the process, at this point we're thinking long and hard about our options and sometime this year we'll visit the bank to learn what our options truly are.

In the meantime, I'll continue to suffer from house lust.

All photos courtesy of rmls.com. Every one of these houses is currently for sale in Ramona's neighborhood.

to be a consumer

2009-02-28T22:31:00.000-08:00

This post is going to be girly. It will be about shopping. And about makeup.

Last night the husband had drinks with friends. I stayed home. The husband had one too many drinks.

This morning I awoke freakishly early and full of energy. I suggested breakfast in Portland, something we never do. Mentally I planned in a trip to Ann Taylor Loft.

A sheepish, sleepy and slow-moving husband agreed.

Breakfast at Screen Door was worth the 45 minutes of driving plus one-hour-and-fifteen-minutes of waiting.

After breakfast we headed to Lloyd Center mall. Wow! It has been a long time since we shopped there.

At Loft I tried on nine pairs of pants -- two colors, three sizes and two styles. In the end I determined that I am indeed petite. Who knew?

Husband waited patiently, hangover and all.

I also bought a t-shirt and a black cardigan (which I've been wanting for about six months). The cashier commented that I had "stocked up on the basics." I'm not really sure what that means, because I don't plan to buy anything less basic.

I think it means my wardrobe is boring.

I'm okay with that.

Later in the day, after I took a nap, and the husband (who did not take a nap) went to work, I popped in to Walgreens for makeup.

The other day, at New Seasons, I picked up a bottle of foundation thinking that maybe I'm ready to switch to a natural makeup. Then I saw the $26 price tag. The second bottle I picked up boasted a $39 sticker.

I love the planet. I don't want my cosmetics to be tested on animals. And I'm not really interested in giving myself cancer from my cover-up. But I simply can't justify spending that much on my cosmetics.

So, I headed to Walgreens with the intent to purchase a bottle of animal-cruel, earth-killing, cancer-causing Cover Girl foundation. Before I snagged the bottle and ran, I thought I'd take a stroll through the store and see what else they had to offer. And what is this?
Physicians Formula Organic Wear

The packaging was remarkably light on plastic and the marketing materials made it seem positive. Yet, I wasn't sure...

It is so easy to get green-washed!

But I figured, it was better than my regular make-up, which I knew was bad. I bought a tube of tinted moisturizer (SPF 15) and a compact of pressed powder each for about $8 (on sale).

Once home, I immediately checked the Skin Deep Cosmetic Safety Database. The site rated my powder of 2 and my moisturizer a 3. My usual makeup rates between 7 and 9 on a 0-10 scale with 0 being low-hazard and 10 being high.

Hooray for not getting green-washed!

After washing off my old make-up, I tried on the new stuff. It's light and seems to work well. I give it two thumbs up!

I spend a whole lot of time trying not to over-consume. I am all about re-using and reducing. I try to focus on my needs rather than my wants. I try to be a low-maintenance kind of gal.

But sometimes it just feels good to shop!

musings on islands, part 3

2009-02-23T07:24:00.000-08:00

These are musings of a photographic sort. It has only taken me a month, but my snaps from Kaua'i and Oahu are ready to view.

Kauai & Oahu 2009

musings on islands, part two

2009-02-03T01:23:00.000-08:00

The first time I visited Hawaii I woke in the morning with a small feeling of panic. I suddenly felt so small and isolated on this tiny rock in the giant expanse of the vast Pacific Ocean.

Time and distance must be wrenched into an incomprehensible new shape. Suddenly thirteen miles is an immense distance and twenty minutes is an eternity.
Yet the world never seems so clear in its enormity as when on an island. Looking out at sea one can see the horizon sharp against the water … even the curve of the earth is visible. The sky is huge as it weighs down on the small patch of earth, every cloud looming monstrously. Hiking to the summit of a mountain literally means reaching the top of the earth.

I lived on an island once. I was completely surrounded by water. When viewed on a map it is very clear this place is an island. Yet never once did I think of England as an island. Living there felt like living at the center of civilization.

I’ve also lived in place that can only be considered the polar opposite of an island. The sea is hundreds of miles away. So far in fact that I was seven before I ever laid eyes on salt water and in my twenties before I saw a palm tree. Yet this place that I lived was almost completely isolated, it was hundreds of miles to civilization.

There are all kinds of islands and all kinds of ways to feel connected and disconnected. And not all involve the sea.

musings on islands, part one

2009-02-02T07:48:00.000-08:00

It is warm and pleasant in Hawaii. It is cold in Forest Grove. One would expect it to be quite a disappointing shock to return home after nine days on the islands.

Fortunately the transition process is made easier by standing in line for agricultural inspection and then standing in line for ticketing and then standing in line for security.

Hearing your pilot say "I wish I could say I have some good news and some bad news, but my funny bone isn't working" is also extremely helpful.

Getting to stand in a line of three hundred people awaiting hotel vouchers is immensely helpful.

Getting to stand in a line of one hundred people to wait for a hotel room is excellent.

The shock of returning from a tropical paradise is made much easier by being forced to stay the night in a scary and cigarette-soaked hotel in Oakland, Calf. before being allowed to return to the comfort of one's own home.

(Oh, and by scary hotel, I mean the kind where the woman next door, who is definitely in a gang as well as either a drug dealer, a prostitute, or both, starts screaming at you and banging on the door between your rooms.)

It's a lot easier to return to cold Forest Grove when you wake up in Oakland after only a few fitful hours of sleep.

Standing in line waiting for the shuttle to the airport helps.

Standing in line to get a new ticket helps.

Standing in line for security helps.

Landing in foggy (but not too foggy to land) Portland is fantastic.

It's freezing outside, but I am slightly more tan than I was two weeks ago and I've never been so happy to be home!

free at last

2009-01-19T12:11:00.000-08:00

I’ve just finished walking in the annual Forest Grove MLK Day march. I’ve also just finished listening to Martin Luther King Jr’s 1963 speech from the steps of the Lincoln Memorial. (And I’ve recently stood on the steps of the Lincoln Memorial.)

King finished his speech with his repeated hope that we will all be “free at last.”

Tomorrow we will inaugurate our first black president.

King asked for a lot in his speech, not least of all that black people in Mississippi would have the right to vote and black people in New York would feel they have something to vote for.

I don’t believe we’ve achieved King’s dream, but we sure have made great strides.

Today we commemorate. Tomorrow we celebrate.

Washington D.C.

2009-01-08T22:49:00.001-08:00

Washington D.C. 2009

organization for the bears

2008-12-29T21:14:00.000-08:00

One of my favorite books as a kid was the Berenstain Bears and the Messy Room. The cubs room gets really messy and Mama Bear says they have to throw everything out, but then Papa Bear helps them organize it all an make an awesome clean room.

I have a corner in the guest room where I store all kinds of craft supplies. Every winter this room gets out of control messy. This year I got smart and asked the husband for organization for Christmas.

This morning the corner of our spare room looked like this:

Now the corner of our spare room looks like this:

I think even Mama Bear would be impressed.

winter storm 2008

2008-12-22T23:40:00.000-08:00

Winter Storm 2008

winter

2008-12-15T21:18:00.000-08:00

It snowed. It's cold. I either have cabin fever or I'm depressed.

I understand not wanting to go to work and getting excited about a snow day. I understand enjoying a job so much that going to work is exciting. What does it mean to be completely neutral about going to work?

I have this horrible habit of taking on whatever emotion I can absorb from movies, tv and books. This is why I'm a fan of happy movies, tv and books. I'm reading A Spot of Bother and watching countless episodes of House back-to-back.

I'm not really sure what I'm absorbing from this except I keep thinking I need to clean my house in case I get a mysterious illness and doctors break in to search it looking for bacteria and toxins.

I've been excessivley grumpy ever since I had my wisdom teeth removed. I have an irrational fear that my good humors went with the teeth. Any possibility there's a medical truth in this?

It snowed. It's cold. I either have cabin fever or I'm depressed.

too few wednesdays

2008-11-12T07:47:00.000-08:00

I am debating whether or not writing entire blog posts to counter anonymous comments is petty. I think it probably is. It’s probably also petty to write a one line clarification, but here it is:

When I speak of pacifism I speak of a wish for peace and I speak of a wish that no act of violence be committed ever again.

Switching gears now to other topics heavy on my mind…

So, in January 2006 I wrote this post.

In January of 2006 I planned to have my wisdom teeth removed in the spring. I visited the oral surgeon and listened to everything he had to say and then I promptly had an anxiety attack and began crying. I’m still not recovered. I am still completely terrified.

Yet the time has come. I can no longer put off the surgery. My wisdom teeth are causing decay in surrounding teeth. The surrounding teeth are pretty important to me because I’m hoping to keep them for the rest of my life.

So, about a month ago I visited the oral surgeon again. And I cried, again. But I did not have an anxiety attack and I began to prepare myself for the inevitable. I met with the surgeon again this week and handled myself with near composure. I have braced myself for the inevitability of Tuesday’s surgery.

I’m not happy about it. If there was any way to avoid it, I would. But I’m forging ahead.

Today I received salt in the wound of my fears and frustrations. My favorite pedicure place is having a half-off sale the day after the surgery- the only day this month I can play.

Can you get a pedicure when you're drugged and possibly bleeding and drooling?

Will someone drive me?

as a pacifist

2008-11-11T07:40:00.000-08:00

As a pacifist I’ve always been very frustrated by Veteran’s Day. I feel there is a fine line between honoring veterans and celebrating war.

As a pacifist I struggle with this day. But I also struggle with the impact war has on all people. The losses of war are too great. The physical and mental toll of war is too vast. The loss of life in war is incomprehensible.

As a pacifist I am crushed by the knowledge with war comes death. And with death comes pain and grief so deep one could drown in it.

As a pacifist I recognize the sacrifice given by soldiers and military families.

And so today, on Veteran’s Day, I’d like to call attention to an organization that speaks to me.

The American Widow Project

As a pacifist I wish it wasn’t this way.

post election day musings

2008-11-05T07:37:00.000-08:00

It feels really good to have helped elect a president.

It feels amazing to have helped elect a president for the first time.

John McCain can be incredibly gracious.

All kinds of Portlanders will dance in the street - young, old, all different shades of skin, all different economic backgrounds...

Strangers will hug strangers.

I now know the number of electoral votes for a ton of states. I did not know this yesterday and I'll likely forget until four years from now.

I miss my dad. I missed him more last night than at any event since his death -- that includes my college graduation and my wedding. I am so sad he did not live to see this.

We now have the most darling first family of my lifetime.

It feels good to know the world is watching and approving.

It is so cool that Kenya has made this a national holiday.

I wish I had taken the vacation day I had planned to take today.

I can't stop smiling.

Pure joy.

because i am american

2008-11-04T07:18:00.000-08:00

Today's the day! Actually, to be totally correct I voted last week, but today is the day my vote is counted!

And so today, I'd like to take a moment to acknowledge those founding figures who gave me this right.

The United States of America has been around for 232 years and in those 232 years men have gone to the polls and cast their vote. This is, after all an essential right of being an American, it separates us from those horrible nations where people don't have this right.

But it is important to recognize that I said men and not people. (I could have said white men, but that isn't what this is about.)

Women have only had the right to vote for 88 years.

And so today, I thank those who worked for me to have this right.

Thank you Susan B. Anthony who worked for 45 years (more than half her life) traveling and speaking and who did not live to see the nineteenth amendment to the constitution in 1920.

Thank you Lucy Stone, who also did not live to see the nineteenth amendment, but who was the first American woman to keep her own last name and the first in Massachusetts to earn a college degree.

Thank you Elizabeth Cady Stanton, who not only wanted women to have the vote, but also campaigned for women's parental and custody rights, property rights, employment and income rights, changes to divorce laws, the economic health of the family, and birth control. Stanton also did not live to vote.

And so today I vote. I vote because I am an American. I vote because I am a woman. I vote because there were women who came before me who could not.

Happy Election Day!

hooray democracy!

2008-10-22T22:43:00.000-07:00

I've just finished voting!

something to prove

2008-10-15T17:31:00.000-07:00

I've got something to prove.

I recently joined a gym, which shall remain nameless. With my membership to the gym I received a "free fitness orientation."

At my "free" session with a trainer I was was asked to set goals. Really, I had no goal, other than to be more active and have a place to go when the husband is working. But for the sake of the "free" session I made up some goals. My goals are 1. lose ten pounds; 2. create more muscle definition; 3. strengthen my back.

So, for one hour rather than work out on the cross training machine while watching tv, (which is what I joined the gym to do) I listened to a woman extol on the virtues of vitamins, protein powder and the sale price of $99 for 5 personal training sessions.

At the end of the hour I had looked skeptically at the woman and questioned the need to purchase products that essentially replace food and/or vitamins I already consume. She had stared at me in horror and shock when I proclaimed to LOVE sugar and LOVE watching television. She had showed me exactly three activities - only one of which involved gym equipment. I had explained to her that though I see the value in logging all calories consumed into a website, it is extremely time-consuming and not something I want to do.

At the end of the hour she said two things: 1. If you really want to accomplish your goals, you will do what it takes, including logging calories in to a website. 2. You will not accomplish your goals without a personal trainer.

So, I've got something to prove.

My new goals is to accomplish all three of my previous goals without the help of the staff at the gym. To do so I will do the following:

Be more mindful of what I eat, drink more water and take my vitamins;
Walk to work as often as possible;
Visit the gym at least twice each week;
Meet with a university student trainer once per week (for $15 per session)

And after I complete my goals, I'm probably going to find another gym.

an independent companion

2008-10-09T07:31:00.000-07:00

I've asked this before, but seriously does anyone want a cat?

He's impeccably groomed, not at all greasy and dirty because he's either too fat or too lazy to clean himself. Totally clean! He certainly never leaves a black film where he's been laying.

He never, ever misses the litter tray.

He does not shed. Not a hair. There certainly won't huge clumps of hair gathering in every corner of the house.

He's quiet. He never complains. Especially not when the temperature drops and you have to turn the heat on. He's not at all bothered by the strange whooshing sounds.

He's also not bothered by the drier and never cries relentlessly because of it.

He is however terrified of blue jays and his cruel owner intentionally left him outside this morning with those horrible birds!

Don't you want to to release him from this torturous environment? Don't you? Please!

my friend, the vice president

2008-10-03T05:21:00.000-07:00

I missed the debate last night! I had to work. However, since the work took place in Eugene, I had two and a half hours to listen to recaps on my way home.

I heard a lot of talk about being able to "relate to the candidates."

I am totally cool with not being able to relate to the Vice President.

The Vice President should be eloquent and intelligent in ways, that I as a citizen should only be able to dream of being. The Vice President should be better than me.

That said, I do think the Vice President should be able to understand his or her constituents, assess their needs and act on them in a focused and intelligent fashion.

I am baffled that people seem to want their candidates to be their bff. Seriously?

One woman complained that one of the candidates spoke "above" her.

The leaders of a nation must make thousands of decisions every day. Those decisions will impact the lives of millions and sometimes billions of people. Those decisions will impact the economy, the environment, foreign relations, and most importantly the everyday lives of every citizen.

There are correct decisions and there are incorrect decisions.

I don't care whether or not our leaders seem cool and likable. I don't care if they speak "above" me. I care that they make the correct decisions.

I also had a conversation last night with a woman who said "for the first time in my entire life, I am truly scared of what might happen."

I was not able to assess her political affiliation in the conversation.

Is everyone (in both parties) scared?

I am.

thankful

2008-09-24T07:30:00.000-07:00

My office is finally (sort of) fully staffed.
Today is Wednesday and so there is a new episode of Bones to be watched.
My book club meets tomorrow and I'm more than half finished with the book and enjoying it. (I will finish.)
I joined a gym and plan to work out tonight. (Best of intentions.)
I leave Friday for a weekend of wild and crazy fun in the Windy City!

pondering the narrator

2008-09-23T22:49:00.000-07:00

I am reading The Book Thief, which is the current selection of the nearly four-year-old book club.

The Book Thief is narrated by Death.

At first I found this jarring and a little upsetting.

But as the novel proceeds, I begin to see why Death is absolutely the best narrator for this story.

The story takes place on the eve of World War II in Germany.

Nothing played a larger role in World War II Germany than Death.

It makes me wonder what universal force would narrate the story of modern America, should one be written?

ode to television

2008-09-18T17:23:00.000-07:00

You know you really love something when you're are willing to overlook its flaws.

When that something is a television show with plot flaws big enough to drive cars through, you really know you love it.

I'm hooked on Bones.

When this show debuted I was instantly interested, not because of the concept or the actors or any of that. I was interested because the female lead wore really cool jewelry.

And then I found out that the costume designer was an alumna of the University where I was working at the time. I so wanted to meet her. Costume designer is one of those jobs that everyone thinks would be really fun. (Graphic designer is another job like this and I know about a half-dozen graphic designers who beg to differ.)

So, I was interested in Bones, but it really isn't the sort of show that the husband likes to watch, so I never started. Then this summer the husband worked a lot of nights and I discovered hulu.com.

Now I spend every spare moment watching the show. I've watched seven episodes in the last 24 hours. What can I say, it's fun to watch people (even fictional people) work when they love their jobs.

Also, the jewelry really is cool.

Seriously, what did people do before television?

anyone else?

2008-09-15T20:11:00.000-07:00

Does anyone else think Sarah Palin's accent seems weird?

Does anyone else love hulu.com as much as I do? (Thank you B!)

Does anyone else despise watching previews for Lakeview Terrace? (Darn hulu.com!)

Does anyone else totally want to own Samantha Stevens' wardrobe on Bewitched? (Thank you hulu.com)

Is anyone else thrilled by the warm days and cool nights we've been having in western Oregon?

Is anyway else excited for the leaves to change?

Did anyone else witness a delightful wedding over the weekend?

Is anyone else extremely excited to visit Chicago, Ill. this month?

Is anyone else extremely excited to visit Bend, Ore. next month?

Does anyone want else want to talk about how weird baby showers are?

Is anyone else wondering how the the Wall Street "doomsday" will impact them?

Does anyone else wish they had the time, energy and enthusiasm to seriously consider grad school?

Is anyone else vaguely interested in the breast cancer vaccine?

Is anyone else excited to have finally found a 12 oz. reusable coffee cup?

Is anyone else really annoyed when their barista creates their coffee drink in a paper cup and then pours it in to their reusable coffee cup?

Is anyone else contemplating a gym membership?

Anyone else?

a corporate apology

2008-09-09T20:19:00.000-07:00

Dear Johnson and Johnson,

I'd like to apologize for a big case of mistaken identity which has lead me to say bad and untrue things things about you.

See, I got you mixed up with SC Johnson. You might be familiar with them, they make: Shout®, Windex®, Mr. Muscle®, Ziploc®, Edge®, Glade®, Brise®, Raid®, OFF!®, Baygon®, Autan®,Pledge®, Scrubbing Bubbles® .

My rage with SC Johnson started when I saw a commercial about how they tap a landfill to power one of their factories.

While I am a fan of Ziploc, in limited quantities and to be re-used as often as possible, the rest of this stuff is landfill-bound. Excessive packaging, excessive chemicals, excessive waste. Grr! We'd have fewer landfills if we didn't have the things SC Johnson makes!

Even if I liked these products products, I couldn't argue that they're good for the environment, which is what SC Johnson is trying to tell us.

(Incidentally, in trying to find a video clip of the commercial, I found that they've done all sorts of other greenwashing.)

On the other hand you, Johnson & Johnson, produce baby care products, Neutrogena, Band Aids, Listerine, Tylenol, Splenda and Visine. You do not produce the Glade Plugin®, as I have slandered you in claiming.

However, I will not apologize to you, Johnson & Johnson, for my frustration at your use of phthalates in your products. This is 100% true. Phthalates are chemicals. I learned last year about how they are used as a plastic softener and are of particular danger to babies before and after birth.

In cosmetics phthalates are used to bind fragrance oils together. Apparently you don't put "phthalates" in the ingredients, but "fragrance" is a good indicator of their presence.

Scientists can tell us there have been decreases in fertility and increases in genital deformities. I think it can still be argued as to how and why this is happening, but we do know that phthalates could be the reason. Why are you risking the health of babies and kids?

So, I'm sorry Johnson & Johnson for mixing you up with SC Johnson. I don't like most of your products, but I loathe SC Johnson, so it was kind of bad to get you two mixed up.

I could get grumpy about animal testing, which both of you seem to think is cool, but I won't this time.

Please consider stopping these bad practices. I'll still buy Band-Aids and maybe Tylenol and I love my Reach flosser, but that's it!

Have a nice day!

the politics of babies (2 of 2)

2008-09-08T20:52:00.000-07:00

I had a pedicure over the weekend. It was fabulous! And as I was enjoying all Spa La La had to offer, I read three copies of US Weekly. And I learned this – Hollywood is having a baby boom!

Switching gears for a second … I recently attended a lecture by David Orr where he discussed Earth’s environmental crisis and brought up the possibility that the human race may cause the Earth to evict us. The environment may become too hazardous for human occupants. Wow!

So, after the lecture I got to thinking and discussing the possibility of the extinction of the human race. Or at the very least, the fact that Earth is becoming less hospitable. And I got a little scared for my future children. Humans are systematically destroying the planet, and I plan to bring more humans in to the world? Not only could my children add to the problem, the world they live in will not be pleasant!

Overpopulation! Pollution! Depletion of Resources! Toxins! Trash! Oh my!

(Aside:I suspect the last generation had similar moments of terror over the Cold War.)

But then I stopped to remind myself that America maintains almost zero population growth, so my bringing one or two children into the word, will not impact overpopulation, it is parents welcoming their sixth or tenth or thirteenth bundle of joy who should bear the guilt of overpopulation.

Perhaps adoption is a solution, it is a human already created who needs love and a family. And US Weekly tells me all the cool people are doing it!

Then the so very obvious was pointed out to me. The issue in America is not overpopulation, but overconsumption. Of course! So even if I adopt a child from an overpopulated nation and give him everything his biological parents never could, I will not be helping the situation, but rather making it worse.

Now I am less worried about the tenth baby in India than I am about the first baby in Hollywood.

So I am faced with two choices:

Voluntary human extinction.
Or replace myself and the husband with two new people and do everything in our power to raise them to be socially, environmentally, politically conscious citizens of the world.

I think I’ll choose the later.

the politics of babies (1 of 2)

2008-09-07T21:35:00.000-07:00

I think about babies.

A lot.

I make no secret on the blogosphere, or anywhere else, about wanting babies. I also spend a great deal of time pondering the world I want to bring my children into. I want my home to be as healthy and happy and safe as possible. I know that I won’t be able to control their environment forever, but in building a nest for my little ones I want to take great thought and care.

(Let’s remember that these are future, fictional children that I will not have for a while yet.)

Yet, as I make all of these considerations for my children, I can’t help but worry; will my children take flight from their health, happy, safe nest, into a depressed, unhealthy and unsafe America?

There’s an awful lot of talk in the news lately about babies and abortion. Sarah Pallin has had parental oversight over the lives of two babies that potentially could have been aborted had they been created in a different situation. So we get to talk about abortion. To abort or not to abort.

Um … can I say I don’t really care about abortion in terms of the election? I do believe that it should be legal, but I am terrified that this topic has become so central to the election (again!).

The question I have for our candidates is not, to abort or not to abort; it is “How are you going to make the America of tomorrow a better, healthier, happier and safer place for my children.”

Even if one has no intention of having children, this is the question we should be asking. This is the question every politician should be asked time and again. The answer to this question is difficult and complex, but it is crucial to the future of the nation.

What is the point of discussing the life of individual babies, aborted or not, if we cannot promise those babies a safe, healthy and happy future?

on a political note

2008-08-21T18:56:00.000-07:00

I have to confess, I've had my head in the political sand a bit since the primaries ended. The race has been sort of like white noise in the background for me over the past few months. I am a firm democrat, so there really hasn't been a question of who I will vote for, but I've not had any really strong reactions to either of the candidates, though I have been mildly curious about the VP picks for each.

That changed today. Up until today, all I could say about John McCain is that he's old. Today I tried to watch a clipping about him on the New York Times site. In the clipping he made this statement:

"We didn’t lose the Vietnam War on the battlefield of Vietnam; we lost it in the streets of Chicago, New York and Washington D.C."

I had to stop the clip right then. I firmly believe that it is our right as Americans to question the decisions our government makes. This is the concept our nation was founded on. (Even if the "founding fathers" were just land-owning white men who really had no regard for women, native Americans and slaves when they spoke of "freedom," but that is a rant for another day.)

It is not only our right it, it is our responsibility. Dissidence is practically mandatory, particularly when it means that lives are being lost. We, as humans, "lost" in Vietnam because humans died in violent unnecessary ways. Questioning that in the streets of Chicago, New York and Washington D.C. was essential to being American.

I acknowledge that John McCain fought for what he thought to be the right thing. I acknowledge that his time in Vietnam was likely horrifying and that it must have been extremely difficult to return to a nation that spit on the idea of the war he believed in and could have died for.

But I can never be comfortable with someone who does not believe that questioning the Vietnam War and protesting the Vietnam War was not an appropriate reaction to the situation.

I'm sure that there are many things I disagree with when it comes to McCain's politics, but this one caused me to jerk my head out of the sand in a hurry.

Here's to the next 2.5 months!

a new addition

2008-08-19T18:10:00.000-07:00

In August 2005, when my blog was still new and I had a brand-new computer, I posted nine blogs.

In August 2006, when the screen of my one-year-old and badly broken computer stopped working, I posted four blogs.

In August 2007, when I had no excuses either way, I posted six blogs.

In August 2008, when my three-year-old computer became ill beyond repair, I posted three blogs (to date) counting this one.

Yesterday the husband and I bought a new computer!

Hooray!

I can’t promise an influx of posts, but it certainly will be easier.

Stay tuned.

best of county

2008-08-12T17:40:00.000-07:00

I got a chance to go home over the weekend and visit my family. As always, I did my best to get out and explore the place I call home.

In all I drove nearly 300 miles in two days, not included the miles to and from my mom's house from mine, which total about 1000 miles.

Okanogan County is the third largest county in the United States with 5,281 square miles. It's huge!

I grew up fairly close to the Canadian boarder, so driving across the county from home can take a large part of the day.

Some call it beautiful, I call it barren, though there are lots of places that are downright breathtaking. Since it is such a vast county, it's hard to categorize.

I happened to visit home the weekend of the Omak Stampede and Suicide Race, which is immensely popular and incredibly controversial. I have yet to actually witness this event, but it is very much a part of the fabric of my life.

I had hoped to get to take a dip in one of the mountain lakes (usually frigid!), but nature had other things in mind.

On Friday night we were hit with a HUGE thunder and lightening storm. Storms in western Oregon ore exhilarating. Storms on the east side of Oregon and Washington are terrifying. One lightening strike can set the whole county ablaze. The storm that began in the evening and woke us at 4 a.m. with thunder and lightening right on top of us set 100 fires in eastern Washington and Oregon.

Thankfully it also rained, which is bad news for firefighters who count on a few summer storms for overtime, but good news for those of us not excited to battle the blazes.

It was unusually chilly for August, so swimming really wasn't an option. Instead I drove around the county with my mom on Friday. We had lunch at the Okanogan River Natural Foods Co-Op in Tonasket and then we went for a drive in the country near home.

On Saturday we were joined by my niece and my sister. We drove to the Methow Valley, which is absolutely stunning and nestled in the Cascades after a brief visit to the Okanogan County courthouse where my sister was taking a CPR course.

My youngest sister is working at Sun Mountain Lodge this summer and we managed to get the employee discount, making our meal 50% less!

After lunch at the lodge, we headed in to Winthrop, which was restored to it's wild west roots in 1972 - right down to the wooden sidewalks. We took a turn around the Shafer Museum and learned a bit about the history of the town and then enjoyed ice cream at Sheri's Sweet Shop.

All in all it was a fun weekend at home. I'm not sure when I'll get to return, perhaps this winter, so for now I can enjoy the collection of photos I took over the weekend.

North Central Washington | August 2008

cure for the common un-inspiration

2008-08-01T22:09:00.000-07:00

I am a fairly creative person. I thrive on my ability to do new things each. I like color. I like vibrancy. I like my day to move along at a nice clip. I like to feel inspired.

Yet, lately the world seems dull. I have no creative energy. And my days are definitely not moving at a nice clip.

I am uninspired.

Is there a cure for this? I've tried everything I can think of, but at the end of the day my heart just isn't in it.

Can someone tell me... what is the cure for the common un-inspiration?

recent travels in photos

2008-07-30T17:31:00.000-07:00

Seattle | June 2008

Salt Lake City | June 2008

Maui, Oahu & Kaua'i | July 2008

musings on Kaua'i (part two)

2008-07-25T15:54:00.000-07:00

I spent much of my time on Kaua'i mentally planning my next visit. I want the husband to come next time. I had a wonderful time, but nothing I saw seemed as special without the husband there to see it too.

The day I arrived we went to the shore near the condo (where I was splashed with a big, sandy wave).

The next day we visited Waimea Canyon - Grand Canyon of the Pacific. It's not remotely tropical and seems completely out of place on a tiny island. But it is also incredibly beautiful!

After we peeked over the edge at the canyon, we kept driving and visited an area where we could see the ocean again. And a stunning view.

We had lunch a lovely mountain spot where there seemed to be more wild chickens than usual. I have a fear of chickens in general, so the wild ones weren't exactly fabulous, but they seemed tame enough.

After lunch we went on a two-hour hike, which was completely exhilarating. And warm. Then we headed back to the hotel on a gorgeous winding road, stopping along the way for some souvenir shopping.

On my third day on Kaua'i we lounged around all day enjoying the sun and the palm trees and the waves. In the evening we went to see South Pacific and have dinner. This was fun and incredibly touristy. (I was horrified at how rude some of the other tourists were throughout my stay. I have never seen such awful people before!)

My last day was probably the most relaxing of all. We swam in the ocean at a gentle beach and saw a giant sea turtle who seemed to be considering the possibility of coming on shore, but decided against it. Then we did a little more shopping at historic Koloa and then off to the airport for my epic journey home.

I have to say I shocked myself in loving Kaua'i as much as I did. It was warm, but not hot. I'm not sure I've been anywhere that was so incredibly pleasant.

I truly look forward to my next visit.

musings on Kaua'i (part one)

2008-07-22T13:52:00.001-07:00

I slept without blankets and was lulled to sleep by the sound of waves crashing against the shore.

When I woke this morning I could see the palm trees waving in the wind.

The surfers are playing cat and mouse with the waves, though it's unclear who is the cat and who is the mouse.

Yesterday I attempted to wade in the shallow end of the great Pacific pool, but the currents were so strong I eventually sat on a rock to watch those braver than I. Suddenly a huge salty wave came upon me (when I was not looking) and dumped about ten pounds of sand all over me. My ears and eyebrows and swimsuit and hair were instantly coated with sticky piece of coral and shell beaten into tiny bits by the relentless waves.

Before I found myself too sandy to move comfortably, just after departing the airport, we visited a small farmers market where we purchased fresh mangoes, avocados, pineapple, lychee and limes.

The air feels filled with water. Breathing is a larger challenge than it ought to be and any cold beverages drips with what feels like gallons of condensation.

I am constantly overwhelmed by the ocean, though I alternate being overwhelmed by the vastness and by the color. The line between the sky and the water is absolute, rather than two shades of gray, and the sea sparkles in the bright sun. It looks as though one could simply dive in and magic would take hold and one would instantly become a mermaid.

musings on Utah

2008-07-01T06:44:00.000-07:00

I visited the southern part of Utah six years ago. We were returning from burying my father in Santa Fe and the heat and the read earth seemed the perfect companion to our grief. Though it was trip laden with great emotion, I've since harbored a fondness for the Beehive State.

The husband and I recently had cause to return, but time did not allow us to visit the southern bits, but rather we remained near Salt Lake City. After meeting up in the airport, I had flown from Seattle, where I had been on business and he had flown from Portland. We picked up our rental car, a Ford Focus (which I did not like) and headed up the canyon. We were staying at Brighton Lodge in Big Cottonwood Canyon for the wedding of C & K. The wedding was perfectly lovely and the groom and bride were both positively glowing with joy throughout the reception.

The husband and I were far from glowing, but rather tired as we were both running on less than five hours of sleep due to our respective work responsibilities and traveling. With the help of friends we made our way back to the lodge, where we had no tv, no air-conditioning and no coffee maker, despite being given a basket of coffee.

On Sunday we were both still feeling exhausted, likely due to the high elevation and intense heat, so we opted not to hike, as we had originally planned and instead headed in to the valley. We enjoyed sandwiches at Avenue's Bakery. After lunch we went in search of an afternoon activity.I was driving, so the husband consulted our trusty Enterprise map and found Antelope Island State Park.

Antelope Island has a rich history, which includes first settlers in 1848 and the introduction of bison in 1893. We saw antelope and bison and visited the site of the original ranch on the island. The landscape of the island is almost surreal; the colors are so muted yet so distinct. The views from the island showed us the expanse of the lake and the salt flats. The first time I set foot out of the car to take a photograph I was bitten by what I learned to be a horse fly. The darn thing took a chunk out of my arm and made me bleed! After that almost all photos were taken through the car windows.

After Antelope Island we sat in stop and go traffic for more than an hour and then had an argument about who least wanted to eat at a freeway chain restaurant. After dinner at TGI Fridays, we headed back up the mountain. Along the drive we encountered two groups of police vehicles with lights flashing and saw two deer, one behind us and one alongside the road. We didn't come close to hitting either, but it was enough to make my whole body tense the rest of the drive.

On Monday we checked out of the hotel and headed back down the canyon, still not ready to spend any time outdoors. As we maneuvered the canyon road we once again encountered a cluster of police vehicles and this time they were joined by news vans. (Once back home I read up on Christine Traylor who fell and died in the canyon over the weekend. Sobering and tragic.)

Back in Salt Lake City we needed to check in for our flight and so we visited a "cyber cafe" which doubled as a check cashing, money wiring and phone card store. Thank goodness the husband can speak and read Spanish!

Having not planned to spend any time in SLC and not really planned at all for the trip, we were a bit at a loss for entertainment. We had a delicious organic and vegetarian lunch at Sage's Cafe and then went to check out the architecture at the Salt Lake City & County Building and then the Utah State Capitol. Both were breathtaking.

Finally we headed back to the airport, where I am certain that the number of children exceeds the number of airport employees. I have never seen so many kids in my life! I like kids, but not when they are kicking my seat and slamming their tray into my back. Oy Ve!

I still love Utah, but I'd like it better with fewer horse flies and fewer ill-behaved children.

I took mad amounts of photos, as usual, but haven't loaded them yet. Will do soon.

Update: Photos now available for viewing. Warning there are a lot!

Salt Lake City 2008

au revoir spring! hello summer!

2008-06-25T17:44:00.000-07:00

Since my last post ... honestly I'm not sure I can remember that far back.

The husband and I did spend a night at McMenamins Edgefield, which I determined would be much more fun with friends, but otherwise really not my thing!

I successfully ran the Starlight Run! And only walked a tiny bit of it. This was HUGE, especially since I was recovering from a cold (which resulted in the return of my ear infection).

I worked. A lot. I think I averaged about 70 hours per week for the entire month of June and 100 hours last week. I'm exhausted, but I still love my job and it really is satisfying to work hard. Though, I do feel like I need a little more of a life, if I can work that much and be okay with it.

I've had two pedicures - both at Spa La La. Fantastic!

I saw Sex and the City and laughed and cried and left feeling like Kristen Davis must have done something bad to someone because Charlotte got way shorted on lines and plot. Can you guess which character I most associate with?

I've reverted to my college eating habit days and consequently feel very thin (i.e. malnourished).

I've seen the husband only a handful of times for spans lasting more than 30 minutes, due to our conflicting schedules and not due to my insane work ethic.

I watched Baby Boom and wished for a gorgeous giggly head of curls to come bouncing in to my life.

I'm looking forward to the rest of the summer, which will bring more work craziness and hopefully some personal fun, plus a birthday in a few days (hooray!), and three weddings. Also the husband's 10-year high school Reunion.

Here's to long days! Here's to sleeping with the windows open. Here's to flip-flops, tank tops and capri pants. Here's to summer - it's finally arrived!

runing down the dream

2008-05-13T20:29:00.001-07:00

I ran a mile this evening.

Not only did I run a mile, I did it without stopping. (I'm not sure if I've ever done this.) I did it in 11 minutes, 31 seconds.

I can not convey how satisfying this is, or how badly I want to keep running. What an odd thing, this running!

I don't think I'm approaching 5k territory just yet, but I am still planning to lace up my running shoes for the Starlight Run.

That is if I can convince anyone to shuffle along with me at 8pm on a Saturday night with thousands of people watching.

Any takers?

needs and wants

2008-04-28T13:47:00.000-07:00

I need a latte right now.

If I had a latte, I would feel far more chipper and far less beaten down. I'd feel prepared to face the remaining 3 hours and 13 minutes of this day. I would be happy with the taste of sugar and coffee sliding over my tongue and down my throat. I look forward to meetings. I'd have the energy to go home and cook a healthy, nutritious meal and then go for a walk or a run.

I really feel like I need a latte.

Yet, if I don't get one, I won't die. I won't be irreparably damaged in some psychological or emotional way. I won't begin to starve from not having the calories. I won't look back on this day with regret that I didn't have a latte. It will have absolutley no impact on my well-being or my long-term happiness.

A latte would make my day brighter and give me a great deal of joy at this moment, but I don't need a latte, I want a latte.

becoming a runner

2008-04-25T13:04:00.000-07:00

I'm trying to become a runner.

I am not athletic. Not even a tiny bit. I am active and sometimes this gets confused for athletic. Active means I like to hike. Hiking means I get to be out in nature and the added bonus of exercise is just that - a bonus. Biking and walking are the same. Not to mention the fact that these things are easy for me.

Running is hard! Not only is it hard and kind of painful, it takes time and motivation. The lack of these things is likely why I am not athletic.

I started out the week with intentions of running, but Monday night* I had a family dinner.

Tuesday night I organized our office. (Coincidently, I read this article, which connects organization with weight loss!)

Wednesday night I finally laced up my running shoes and ran an entire mile in two parts with 1.8 miles of fast walking in the middle.

Thursday I was pretty sore, but I was also pretty busy with a Town Hall on Genetics to attend.

Which brings me to Friday where I sit, sneaking a quick lunch of brown rice and tomato soup and contemplating the slightness of a chance that I might actually run tonight or at any point during the weekend.

And so concludes week one of trying to become a runner.

*There are people who run in the morning. I am not one of those people. The chances of me forgoing even a minute of sleep to do something hard and painful that takes time and motivation are so slim they aren't even worth commenting on.

things one needs

2008-04-19T09:36:00.000-07:00

I've been reading a lovely little book called The Only 127 Things You Need. The author is a journalist who interviewed experts on the things that humans really need.

Some of it is very practical, she asserts that houses really only need a bedroom, bathroom and kitchen. Yet, it's also realistic, obviously we need clothing, but rather than simply state that we need clothing that protects us from the elements, the author interviews fashion experts. The result is an examination of how we can all be both practical and stylish.

The book starts out with information about nutrition, which I feel like I've got a pretty good grasp on and then moves on to sleep and exercise, both of which I understand even if I don't always get enough or the right kind. The sections on shelter and clothing were also useful, with some great tips for simplifying.

Then she moves on to psychological, emotional, and spiritual needs. Wow! These are not things I think about. I learned that the more social connections one has, the less likely they are to become ill. Who knew?! I'm not finished with this part, but I'm enjoying what I've read so far and can't helping stopping to read bits aloud to the husband.

I'm unsure how the author determined the number 127, but I'm certain I'd like to have a few more things than that - like a living room I do no "living" in. This is a pleasant read that makes simplifying life seem easy, when I know full well it isn't.

against the flow

2008-04-04T12:54:00.000-07:00

I'm listening to Loretta Lynn and eating spelt with portobella mushrooms, but I'm almost done. This means that, though I've been lunching for just 20 minutes, it's time to get back to work.

So much work!

I took in Sometimes a Great Notion at Portland Center Stage, Armory Theater last night. This is a powerful story (based on the Ken Kesey novel) of an Oregon logging community in the early 1960s with wonderfully astute descriptions of western Oregon, rain and Oregonians. There was a bit in the play about a character who would practice swimming by going against the tide in the river. He would swim for hours but stay in the same place, fighting the tide.

This is how I feel about work right now. Every day I come in and get a fair amount done, yet the flow never seems to cease.

At least I like my job, right?

Well, my spelt is gone and Coal miner's daughter has given way to Merle Haggard, so I suppose it's time to get back to work ...

books i am trying to read

2008-04-01T16:48:00.001-07:00

Then We Came to the End

Omnivore's Dilemma

The 127 Things You Need

Boom!

past and future

2008-03-31T18:12:00.000-07:00

I've just returned from a week at home in the mountains of north-central Washington. Think high desert. Think Canada. Think 10 below in Winter. Think 110 in Summer.

Going home is a very intense experience. There's so much personal history there, even if I have been away for nine years. My childhood was guided by poverty, counterculture and paranoia. No two days ever resembled one another because we did not live a structured, scheduled existence. Apart from school I could never predict what would happen next. It was not an easy life, nor one that I miss. But it is mine and home is still home.Over the last year, I've spent at great deal of time musing over how I'd like to live my life. I've thought about how to simplify things and how to lessen my impact on the earth. I've thought about how to lead the healthiest life possible and how to be as happy as I can and how to lead a meaningful existence. It's been a good year, a happy year, full of reflection.

In my travel home last week I was able to ponder a great deal about my childhood and the choices my parents made on my behalf. Despite and absolute lack of structure, my parents were guided by an adamant mission to avoid the mistakes made by the people who raised them. Somehow, they managed to expose us to great values that I still want to live my life by. Unfortunately those values were so entangled in things I saw as negative, that they have been hard to isolate.

I've started to realize that most of the things that I want for myself and for my future are the same things my parents sought their whole lives. My life is simpler than that of my parents because counterculture is now cool and I am free of paranoia and poverty.

And so, as I continue to shape my future in to one that is happy and healthy for me and for the husband and our future children, I remember to stop and look back on the past.

or perhaps

2008-03-18T18:03:00.000-07:00

I'm having one of those days that makes me want to move to Maine and become an organic farmer.

Perhaps it's that work isn't really making my juices flow this week.

Or perhaps it's that I have a blocked ear that is making me feel like I have a bucket over my head.

Or perhaps it's that spring is around the corner and everything feels unpredictable.

Or perhaps it's that I can't consume enough caffeine to really feel like I have energy.

What ever the reason, I am restless.

Lately I can't help but feel like I could be doing something more meaningful with my time. By time, I don't mean work time, I mean life.

Or perhaps that's not what I'm thinking about at all.

Too many thoughts are flitting in and out of my head.

Perhaps a change is in order.

Or perhaps too much is changing.

Above all I fully recognize that I am making no sense at all and I apologize.

Perhaps it's just one of those days full of nonsensical thoughts.

Or perhaps I really do want to move to Maine.

when one vote matters

2008-03-09T13:07:00.000-07:00

May 20 is just a few months away and as a registered Democrat, I am excited to cast my vote in the primaries. Oregon is so late on the list that I don't even remember voting in the primaries during the last two elections.

Excited or not, I have also been terribly lazy about understanding my options. I have a deep admiration for Clinton and it almost feels like instinct to want to vote for her. But I want to be a better voter than this -- I want to vote based on issues.

So, I looked at the issues (or at least the issues as defined by cnn.com).

Abortion
Clinton seems more strongly supportive, wishes to sign legislation protecting this right.

Economic Stimulus
Both want to pour money in to helping low-income folks weather the storm. Obama has promised more than Clinton, but Clinton mentions focusing on "green-collar" job growth, which is pretty cool.

Education
Clinton has very clear measurable and ambitious goals in this area. I like them. Obama's stance is a slightly less clear, though he promises change. Clinton pledges to end No Child Left Behind, while Obama wants to reform it.

Energy
Clinton promises more actions. Obama promises more money. Many of their goals are the same, though again, Clinton's seem more measurable and clear. (She proposes efficiency standards at 55 miles per gallon by 2030!)

Environment
They both have awesome ideas here and remarkably, many of the ideas are different. If we could accomplish all the things on both lists, I would feel much better about the future of the planet.

Free Trade
Obama has a much stronger message on this issue. It looks like Clinton doesn't know where she stands.

Guns
Clinton makes more promises here.

Healthcare
Both have good, strong ideas here, but I think I like Clinton's plan better. She mandates coverage for all Americans and eliminates restrictions by insurance companies.

Homeland Security
Both have good ideas. Obama is very focused on protecting, while Clinton is mindful of preventing. (Oh, to have them on one ticket!)

Housing
They care.

Immigration
They apparently feel exactly the same about this.

Iran
Here they differ. Clinton seems far more wary of Iran. Both say military action is a possibility.

Iraq
Other than the fact that Clinton cast a vote on this before Obama was a senator and therefore had no vote, they seem to agree. Clinton also says she would have voted differently if we knew then what we know now.

Same-Sex Marriage
They're both huge wimps about this.

Social Security
Both have plans. Obama's seems more clear, but either way, I'm glad I started investing in my retirement early and am making a mental note to increase my contribution.

Stem Cell Research
Again, they agree.

Taxes
Obama has a plan.

Whew! There are only about five issues on this list that I feel very strongly about and ultimately all consideration of politics makes me feel a tad jaded, but I am starting to feel a little more prepared for May 20.

a big day

2008-03-02T21:50:00.000-08:00

After weeks of analyzing the various safety features and fuel efficiency of countless small, four-door, hatchback cars. And after agonizing over potential dealer negotiations and considering the details of "value" and of potential insurance costs, I have finally moved forward. I am now the proud co-owner of a "nautical blue" Scion Xd.

I'm excited about passenger room and space for potential future children. I'm excited about the 33 highway miles to the gallon. I'm excited about the abundance of airbags. I'm excited about all kinds of sensible things.

But mostly, I'm totally and absolutely thrilled by power windows and locks. And by cup-holders. And by the 12v outlet. And the stereo. And the rear windshield wiper. And by the cute little antenna that looks like a cowlick.

I love our old truck and I always will. It, at one point, had many of the above features, but in its old age they've ceased to function. We've kept it since it was (kind of) a gift and because it's more useful to us parked in the driveway than it would have been as a trade-in. We'll love it when we buy a house and need to haul things and along the way for garden uses.

But, I'm totally in love with the new car, which I'm starting to think of as "Richie" (as in Cunningham and Rich).

Addendum:
I didn't mention my excitement for the steering-wheel stereo controls. Also, I am now leaning toward "Cunningham" while the husband is fond of "Opie." Both are good.

pondering apocalypse

2008-02-04T18:07:00.000-08:00

Last week I watched The Story of Stuff, attended a panel discussion on global warming and read A Brief History of the dead. Add to this a splash of additional reading and the result is an apocalypse cocktail.

The Story of Stuff goes behind the scenes of the "materials economy" which the narrator, Annie Leonard, refers to as a "system in crisis." In short we are over-using our resources, creating vast amounts of toxic waste, including items that we touch every day, and then pushing it all in to landfills. We've created an economic system that degrades the earth and its citizens in order to make cheap, easily disposable stuff.

Add this to information to a recent Reuters story, (for me a follow up to a similar story I read in Vogue last year) which suggests that we are rendering our infants incapable of reproducing by exposing them to too many toxic chemicals.

Oh, and by the way, Aveda is moderately hazordous. (I know, sad right?)

The global warming panel added one terrifying drop to my drink. The polar ice-caps are melting much faster than earlier predictions. The year presented for absolute melt was 2012. Yes, four years from now. Yes, the same year that the Mayan calendar predicts the world will end.

In her review of A Brief History of the Dead by Kevin Brockmeier powells.com reviewer Anna Godbersen wrote, "Brockmeier has not only written an allegory of our connection to those we have lost, but he has shot it through with the darkest fears of our times."

Our parents came of age in an era of perpetual fear of the atomic bomb. We've replaced those fears with new fears about environmental destruction and germ warfare.

I continue on my quest to minimize my impact on the environment and to eliminate toxic materials from my home. I try to reduce my consumerism and re-use what I can. Yet, I can't help but worry, what if we've passed the point of no return on this path of destruction?

Drink up! It's apocalypse cocktail hour!

grateful, but not happy

2008-01-30T07:53:00.000-08:00

I used to have a boss who would say, "I noticed you got a haircut. I can't say whether or not I like it. But I want you to know, I noticed." He was afraid that if he told us he liked our hair, we would think it was sexual harrassment.

Later, I had to take a sexual harrassment training workshop online and learned that hair is the only appropriate part of a person's appearance to comment on.

I remember the Anita Hill, Clarence Thomas Trial. I remember "This is sexual harrassment and I don't have to take it!" I don't however, remember every seeing any real-live sexual harrassment of women by men.

Last night I watched North Country. I can't remember why I originally rented this movie, but I do know I didn't watch it. We returned it to Netflix or Blockbuster.com, unwatched. It made it's way back in the queue after my mom told me it had a great soundtrack - meaning it was comprised of many Bob Dylan songs.

I finally watched it last night. I cried for pretty much two hours. I do not watch movies that make me cry for two hours. I intentionally avoid serious dramas. I also felt sick to my stomach for much of the time. This film is really and truly a portrait of sexual harassment and the story of why we don't have to deal with it today.

I was happy to watch the sweeping scenery of northern Minnesota and listen to Bob Dylan songs, but overall it's not a movie that made me happy. It is a movie that made me grateful.

upstairs and downstairs: a saga

2008-01-27T22:11:00.000-08:00

Many may know that the husband and I live in a house that has been split in to three apartments. We have the ground floor and much of the basement and there is a one bedroom apartment above us and a studio over the garage.

Because the house was originally one unit and because the house was built in the 1940s, we can hear everything that happens upstairs. I mean everything. We have always assumed that the reverse is true but we've never worried about it because it seems to be the consequence of sharing a house.

We've spoken with Garage Neighbor once and seen him perhaps twice in the eight months or so he's inhabited the tiny studio. I'm pretty sure he either goes catatonic when he is at home or he really likes to meditate because the man is silent!

We've had limited interaction with Upstairs Neighbor, but we started to suspect over the past few months that she doesn't like the Husband because of the garden. Husband loves the garden, which he technically shares with Upstairs Neighbor. Unfortunately she planted vegetables and flowers(?) in the patch (only after we weeded and tilled the entire patch) and then left them to die. Husband watered the plants on occasion over the summer, but tried to keep his distance. She did attempt to water one night in late July, but fell asleep with the sprinkler on and flooded our basement. When it came time to do the autumn tilling Husband decided that, since the other half was filled with rotten plants that hadn't been touched in months, it was appropriate to till the entire patch. Three weeks later there came a knock at the door - it was Upstairs Neighbor crying about the perennial plants that Husband had tilled under. Literally, crying. Apologies and promises to replace the plants ensued.

Fast-forward to Friday night. I returned home from dinner with friends in Portland around 11pm and began packing for a Saturday night trip to Bend. I opened and closed several doors while packing, but other than that I did nothing out of the ordinary. Meanwhile there a was a loud, sharp baning noise upstairs. I wondered, as I often do, what Upstairs Neighbor was doing, but thought nothing more of it.

At 11:30pm Husband called and I went to pick him up from work. We were anxious to get to bed so we brushed our teeth, put on our p.j.s and crawled in to bed. The loud, sharp banging continued while we prepared for sleep. We had the television on, but decided to turn it off when we heard screaming upstairs.

Much to our shock, Upstairs Neighbor was screaming at us or about us. Here are a few of the things we heard through muffled floorboards:

"K. and Martha I f***ing hate you both."
"I hope you go to f***ing h***!"
"I pay my rent on time."
"I'm tired of living in a f***ing bowling alley."
"I hope you get a divorce."
"All I ever wanted was my half of the garden."
"K. doesn't even speak English."

There may have been more, but we could only hear about a quarter of her screaming. The banging continued, followed by an hour of what sounded like pacing. I finally fell asleep but woke every hour or so for the duration of the night, terrified that Upstairs Neighbor had come to kill us for closing our bedroom door too many times and tilling under her carnations.

Thankfully we've survived the weekend and nothing further has occurred. This post serves as my official testimony, should this story every proceed to the level of Dateline.

germany & austria in words

2008-01-14T19:41:00.000-08:00

This was a trip of many walks, which must be at least partially responsible for the fact that although I indulged myself in all manner of chocolate and fat, I return to America the same weight I was when I left.

We saw many a Christmas Market and bought nothing at any of them.

We visited and admired more churches and cathedrals than I can count, but went inside four.

We saw more snow than I've seen in seven winters.

We walked under sparkling Christmas lights in nine cities.

We've admired many window displays for chocolate shops and bakeries and we've inhaled not enough bakery creations.

My travel companions sampled many a German beer and a few Austrian ones. I had just three.

We viewed the extravagance of many households, including the crazy world of Ludwig II.

We breathed in frozen alpine air and then felt like we were visiting the tropics when we returned to the just-above-freezing climate at Jagersburg and Frankfurt.

We stared at so many very old things. I cannot fathom the age of many of the buildings we visited.

We conjured up images of primitive warrior days now gone by. (Or at least I did.)

It was a wonderful, relaxing and pleasant journey.

For Germany and Austria in photos, click here.

four tuesday thoughts

2008-01-08T07:07:00.000-08:00

I am going to post about Germany and Austria. I promise. I will also put up a few photos. Really.
If you have not already done so, please go see Juno now. It really takes away the sting of Arrested Development having such a short life. It's also really funny.
I fully believe that with the amount of snow on the ground right now work should be canceled, or at least late start. It's not.
Sharing living space with a cat is not pleasant. I often comment on many of my biggest pet peeves (I so didn't intend that pun!), but I have a new one. So, we go away for two weeks and leave the cat home alone. When we return we have serious jet lag. Then the jet lag starts to subside and still, we are awake at 4am. Yes, it is the cat punishing us by sitting outside our door crying. All. Night. Long. To top it off, husband likes to shout at the cat, as if that will fix the problem. At 4 in the morning.*

*I am tired and I am grumpy. Coffee is not helping. Would anyone like a cat?

four goals

2008-01-03T07:33:00.000-08:00

2007 was the year of the 11 partially fulfilled ambitions. All year I kept swearing that I would do better in 2008. So here are my goals for the coming year. I kept it simpler this time.

Be better to the natural world. I want to use fewer resources and re-use the ones that have already been expended. I have actually been working toward this goal for a while, and have been doing pretty well, but can always do better.
Be more positive. If I fail at any of my goals it will be this one, but I’ve got to start sometime. I shock myself sometimes at the severity of the language that comes out of my mouth. Put simply, I want to clean it up. No more negative talk.
Lose 10 pounds through better diet and exercise. This one got to stay from last year because I actually achieved this goal by May, but spend the next seven months undoing it. So, here goes.
Read more. This one may seem like a bit of a paradox because I am known to be a reader, but I have to confess I’m a bit of a fraud. Since I moved out of Portland and stopped taking public transit, I’ve been watching a lot of TV. This year I will read. Even if it’s only nutrition books, Phillipa Gregory and Jane Green, I will read.

So it is leap year, election year and the year of the four goals. Wish me luck.

'tis the season ...

2007-12-12T08:37:00.000-08:00

... for blog neglect!

My morning reading has been pretty sparse and I was disappointed in my fellow bloggers until I remembered, "she who lives in a glass house must not cast stones." And so, here is a holiday post.

The holiday cheer has been taking it's toll on my in more ways than one.

First, there are the eggnog lattes, which seem to relate to my pants no longer fitting.
Then there is shopping, which I am mercifully done with.
Then there is wrapping, which I am also mercifully done with.
Then, there is getting the packages in the mail, which I am not done with. Incidentally, my four-year-old niece did not receive her birthday package filled with books about birthdays and turning four. It is still sitting on my craft table, as it has been since well before Nov. 22, when she actually turned four.
And there's the writing of holiday cards. Husband and I don't do these every year, likely because it is so much work. The collection of addresses is an enormous chore in and of itself. People move. A lot. Also, mail isn't quite the standard way of sending messages any more, which makes it obsolete to keep track of where people collect their mail. (So, if you don't receive a card, it's because I don't have your address. Really. It is.)

Though I speak of holiday cheer with a tone of dread, I really do love it and here is my favorite piece of holiday cheer, created by one of my student workers.

Happy Holidays!

method (almost) and marriage

2007-11-29T09:49:00.001-08:00

I have been pondering a post about how corporate America is playing on the current sense of environmental awareness and seducing us in to buying "green products" that are only really as green as their packaging, which may or may not be quickly biodegradable. I was going to talk about Method cleaning products and Cheer Free & Gentle laundry detergent. But then I changed my mind and decided to post about marriage instead.

Twice in the last six months I have had unmarried friends tell me that marriage is not forever.

They keep citing the "divorce rate." Since I am currently married, and plan to be for the rest of my life, I got to wondering about this and so I've been doing a little internet sleuthing.

First, it seems that the 50% rate that we hear about is just a projection. Statisticians project that if divorce trends continue, 50% of marriages will end in divorce. That doesn't mean that 50% of the the people married today will be divorced next year. It doesn't mean that 50% of the people who are married today will get divorced, it means that they might.

However, here's another stat: "The divorce rate in 2005 (per 1,000 people) was 3.6 -- the lowest rate since 1970, and down from 4.2 in 2000 and from 4.7 in 1990. (The peak was at 5.3 in 1981, according to the Associated Press.)"

It seems that now, more than ever in the past 30+ years, we should be hopeful about the future of marriage.

I entered my marriage thinking it was going to be forever and in fact, I'm pretty excited about forever. I like forever, it's solid. That's not to say that I don't expect it to be challenging -- lifelong relationships have got to involve some amount of work -- I believe forever should be a goal, not an assumption. That said, I also see no reason to say marriage isn't forever.

An aside, though these statistics refer to legal, straight marriage, I speak of marriage in terms of any lifelong, committed relationship. In my opinion, if you intend on forever then its a marriage otherwise it's just a relationship.

There you have it. Marriage. Perhaps I will post about Method another day.

to ignore is bliss

2007-11-19T22:31:00.000-08:00

So, the other day I was watching TMZ and I started to feel guilty. I thought "I shouldn't be watching this. If I don't watch it then maybe it will fail and go away." Thus the channel that plays TMZ will bring back Frasier and I will once again have something better to watch at 10 p.m.

Then I started thinking about all of the things that don't go away simply because I try to ignore them ...

American Idol, American Dad, America's Most Wanted, America's Top Model, America's Funniest Home Video, Beauty & The Geek, any reality competition where people say catty, mean things to one another, commercials for the Toys R Us "Toy Book" and for the "Rose Petal Cottage,"sports, wrestling, Cops, the word "paparazzo," Paris Hilton, Family Guy, South Park, the local news ...

So, if ignoring these things doesn't work, what does?

no comment

2007-11-05T08:28:00.000-08:00

1. Better nutrition.
2. Start exercising regularly.
3. Lose ten pounds.
~~4. Floss.~~
5. Volunteer.
~~6. Donate.~~
~~7. Get my license.~~
8. Be more financially responsible.
9. Communicate.
~~10. Travel.~~
~~11. Move.~~

No comment, she thinks as she chews her third twizzler of the day (and yes, it's only 8:30 am). She wonders if buying workout pants counts as exercise. She wonders if printing the application for SMART counts as volunteering. She wonders if remembering to pay the bills counts as financial responsibility. She wonders if yesterday’s conversation with her mother, the first in two months, counts as communication.

a great town

2007-11-04T16:06:00.000-08:00

I've just returned from Portland where I joined my awesome walking friends on a "hill walk" around Reed College and SE Woodstock.

In the car on the way home from the city, B. and I were discussing what makes a great town or city, and what it is about Forest Grove that makes it less livable than other cities? We have previously discussed the idea that Forest Grove is a bedroom community for people who live, work and play in Hillsboro, Beaverton and Portland. I have no idea what the statistics are for F.G. as a "bedroom" community, but I've heard the term thrown around by people who should know where the community is spending its time and dollars. All I could think of on the spot was better sidewalks and health-conscious grocery store.

So, I've been thinking, what does make a good town?

I found this amusing series of comments. Though, I don't think the kids are wrong. Pollution, arts, culture and history should all be topics of consideration when pondering the great city. I've continued my reflection on this topic for the past several hours and here is my short list of what a great town offers:

A very dense commercial center. "One stop shopping" shouldn't mean a big box store, it should mean being able to find everything you need from honest, community-minded merchants in the core of the city.
Parks! There should be opportunities to recreate, including well-monitored skate parks (with rules and monitoring for protective gear) and extensive hiking, biking and running trails. These areas should be well-patrolled by law enforcement and well-lit at night for evening activity.
Public transportation. There was once a day when the city of Forest Grove an a functioning trolley system, as did most U.S. cities. No city is too small for a transit system and the offer of public transit benefits all citizens, but particularly those too old and too young to drive.
Safe paths. Sidewalks and bike lanes should be mandatory creating safe walking spaces for all citizens, but again paying special attention to children and the elderly. Crosswalks should be well-respected and abundant.
Common spaces: plazas, libraries, auditoriums, green spaces and gardens.
Attractive and functional architecture with special attention to historic spaces.
A comprehensive waste collection system with options for recycling, food waste and trash. Also, a rigorous education program to aid citizens in purchasing and using the right products to minimize waste.
Industrial and office space created with functional use, but also attentive to the appearance and safety of the community as a whole.
Safe and attractive parking options. No city is too small for a parking structure, particularly one built with aesthetics and safety in mind. No city needs a sea of parked cars.
Well-valued and well-funded public services including, but not limited to, schools, law enforcement centers, fire stations and hospitals.
Active citizens. Community theatre needs actors, community sports teams need players, community galleries need artists, community government needs public servants, community stores need shoppers, community markets need vendors, community media needs reporters, good communities need great citizens.

It's not that Forest Grove lacks these things, some of them are actually done quite well, it's just that I want a perfect city and I'm not sure there is one. Oh, to be idealistic on a sunny Sunday afternoon . . .

striving simpler

2007-10-29T22:29:00.000-07:00

I exist to pursue a simpler life.

This has been my mantra in 2007. I strive to eliminate negative things from my life and focus on the positive. The simplicity of it is attendance to basic needs first. I've tried to take good care of my physical body and I've also focused on trying to improve my mental condition by stopping to admire the beauty in the world, rather than dwell on the unpleasant. I've tried to limit the amount of energy I consume and waste I produce and I've tried to turn my attention toward the natural world.

However, I can't help but feel like I am drowning in complications due to an inability to achieve simplicity.

I've been very overwhelmed lately by the idea that I am working for two things: 1. to cover the expenses associated with my dwelling, 2. to purchase items that I will store in my dwelling. When I first graduated from college I had a very small dwelling and I filled it with things. Then I moved to a larger dwelling and reveled in all of the extra space. Then we acquired more items and soon the dwelling was filled. Then we moved to an even larger dwelling and we are rapidly filling it with things. I can't help but wonder, is life really defined by the pursuit of possessions?

In contrast to the notion of working toward those two goals, I have also been pondering two incidents in my past. 1. When I left to study abroad for a semester, I placed all possessions, except what I could fit in a single back pack, in storage. Not once, in four months abroad, did I miss those items. 2. In summer 2005 the husband and I biked to San Francisco and every day of that trip we woke up in the morning and packed our lives into what we could move with the sheer strength of our bodies and we set out on the road leaving no evidence behind. Again, I didn't miss all of the possessions locked in our dwelling in Portland.

Even as I strive for simplicity, and I recognize the joy of a simple life, I am constantly filling my life and my home with items I don't need. I have come to regard life's absolute necessities, like ensuring a healthy body and mind, as small irritations -- I don't have "time" to eat breakfast, I don't have "time" to get a full night's sleep, I don't have "time" to stop and appreciate the beauty of every day life.

So, in my pursuit of a simpler life, I am left pondering two more concepts. 1. How do I deny the part of me that seems to operate so naturally at the process of acquiring goods? 2. How do I permanently access the part of me that is skilled in ensuring I accomodate those things I need most?

since moving

2007-10-26T11:45:00.000-07:00

Since moving to the countryburbs ...

I have been pulled over four times.

I have read less than before, but cooked far more.

I've watched the husband transition from a devoted city dweller to a lover of gardening, splitting firewood and canning.

I've actually purchased a pumpkin scented candle (up until this year nearly every candle in my house was given to me as a gift) and a pumpkin to decorate the porch.

I've driven, a lot. It takes 48 minutes to get from my current house to my old place of residence, which I loved despite the mold, mice and ants that infested it in the nearly three years we lived there. I loved it because it was very centrally located within Portland. So, it now takes about 48 minutes to get from my home to anywhere in central Portland.

I haven't been as active as I thought I would be, but I do get to walk to work.

Our lives are quieter, I can't explain it any better than that.

We are lacking in the abundance of good restaurants that we had access to in Portland and we miss the ease we once enjoyed in our social lives, but for the most part our lives are better for having moved.

I'm glad we did.

season's light and darkness

2007-10-15T07:50:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I sat in the park and watched brilliant yellow leaves fall like rain. I had a copy of March, on my lap and a hot cup of mint tea in my hand. I was fresh from Oregon Ballet Theatre's “Tour of Germanic Lands.” It was a quintessential urban autumn afternoon.

Today I sit at my desk of beech veneer in my office filled with light, even on this gray and dark morning. Though the trees are radiant, despite the gloom, the joy of the season is lost when one is confined to the office.

reality vs ambition

2007-10-07T22:06:00.000-07:00

So the year is nearly up. When I set my ambitions for 2007 back in December I wasn't planning to compulsively blog about them (or about my lack of progress), yet here I am.

While I am making little headway and the more vague goals, I have done well at things that required a single action, like move, donate and get my driver's license.

I've also been pondering lately what my ambitions for 2008 will be. I have officially tired of the 2007 goals, though I still floss every night. In 2008 I will have fewer goals and they will actually be attainable. Let's face it. Fiscal responsibility just isn't my forte. Sitting down to write letters sounds nice, but in nine months of claiming to try, I haven't done it once!

I've probably been most successful with the top three goals in that my understanding of nutrition has increased significantly this year and I did shed all ten pounds only to gain five back. I am currently reading Skinny Bitch, which reminds me of the evils found in sugar, aspartame, caffeine and dairy. This means no chocolate, diet soda, coffee, cheese or ice cream. Do you see why this is hard?!

These ambitions are not just "resolutions," they are my ambition to be a better, more well-rounded person. They are my quest toward feeling great about myself. After nine months of listing these goals, I'm happy to say I feel okay. I haven't done fantastically, but I haven't done horribly either. I'm doing okay and I am still trying.

1. Better nutrition.
2. Start exercising regularly.
3. Lose ten pounds.
~~4. Floss.~~
5. Volunteer.
~~6. Donate.~~
~~7. Get my license.~~
8. Be more financially responsible.
9. Communicate.
~~10. Travel.~~
~~11. Move.~~

basking in the change of the season

2007-09-20T21:30:00.000-07:00

My Cooking Light magazine arrived this week with "92 fabulous recipes for fall" and an article on winterizing your home.

It got colder this week and I had to break out the slippers and start thinking about firewood.

The husband went grocery shopping and surprised me with pumpkin beer.

The leaves on the oak trees are slowly beginning to turn.

The air is crisp.

My head is full of Halloween costume ideas and I'm freakishly thinking of thanksgiving side dishes and holiday gifts.

I've started wearing light sweaters and thinking of boots.

In a few weeks the husband and I will reach a major milestone, five years ago we met under orange and yellow leaves and our lives changed forever.

I have made a mental note to visit a pumpkin patch in the next few weeks and suddenly cinnamon seems like it should be added to all my meals.

The first day of fall is just days away. Celebrate!

travel the world for pennies

2007-09-07T07:46:00.000-07:00

I'm listening to Merle Haggard and feeling weepy. Oh, Sing Me Back Home.

So, I have been thinking lately about getting a second job. Extra cash would be really nice and very much aid in my quest to travel.

I considered Ann Taylor Loft because I have a friend who works there and she is always dressed to the nines. The discount would be great and I'd be able to really refresh my wardrobe. The friend only works there for the clothes. It was tempting, but then I realized I just really don't care about clothes that much. I love clothes, but not enough to give up my nights and weekends and then there's the whole thing of not actually making any money.

I have another friend, L., who's full-time job seems similar to mine, but who also works part-time at Borders. So, now I am mulling over the prospect of working part time at a book store. I do love books ...

This all started because, no sooner did we buy our tickets to Germany than Lufthansa sent me an email about $398 tickets to Madrid in the spring. Well, of course I want to go to Madrid!

It also has to do with those damn world map counters that everyone has on their myspace pages. (I've only seen 3% of the world and 15 American states.)

So many places to go, so little money!

ambitions: only four months left

2007-09-04T15:31:00.000-07:00

Hmm.

We bought tickets last week. We're going to Germany for the holidays! This counts as travel, but it does not count as fiscal responsibility.

I've been taking a multivitamin and today I had millet & quinoa with toasted sunflower seeds for lunch. I also had tater tots and chocolate ice cream.

I went hiking yesterday. It was the first time I have done anything active since touristing around Chicago.

I volunteered at a community theater a couple of weeks ago. I scrubbed toilets. I was there because of work, but I work at a place committed to service.

Do myspace comments count as communication?

1. Better nutrition.
2. Start exercising regularly.
3. Lose ten pounds.
~~4. Floss.~~
5. Volunteer.
~~6. Donate.~~
~~7. Get my license.~~
8. Be more financially responsible.
9. Communicate.
~~10. Travel.~~
~~11. Move.~~

ode to the french press

2007-08-28T15:07:00.000-07:00

This post was going to be about the fourth annual report by the Trust for America's Health which revealed among many depressing pieces of information that 30% of the state of Mississippi is obese -- not overweight, but obese! Yikes!

But then I decided that I've moaned enough lately about this terrifying epidemic and I still have no power to change anything and I am, in fact eating yet another tootsie roll as I type.

Instead I decided to tell all about how I love my new French press. I recently had French pressed coffee for the first time when it was prepared by my fabulous friend D. So delicious! Lately I've been feeling like my soy latte just isn't cutting it, plus it's totally packed with unnecessary fat and sugar.

So, the husband and I finally paid the $30 to buy an 8-cup French press. The first two batches of coffee were a bit too strong because the only coffee we had in the house was espresso roast, but last night we bought some lighter beans and today I enjoyed a very, very tasty mug of coffee with way more caffeine and way less guilt than my soy latte. Plus, it's far more economical.

How I love thee, French press.

thoughts on fertilty

2007-08-26T20:46:00.000-07:00

So I've broken ground in a conversation on the baby fever in a whimsical way, now I'd like to bring it up again with a more serious tone. Here's the thing:

"Do not unnecessarily delay having children if the options are available to you. Fertility starts declining after age 27 and drops drastically after age 35." - Wikipedia.

Now I know wikipedia is not the most scientific of sources, but this isn't uncommon knowledge if you happen to be paying attention. I also know that there are many a reader who say to this, "Women have children over 35 all the time. Look at that 60+ year-old woman who just had twins."

Guess what folks, those aren't her eggs! Apparently women who get pregnant over 40 rarely use their own eggs. You can give birth, but the child is no more biologically yours than if you had flown to Cambodia and signed papers (which is a completely viable and respectable option). But it's not true, you can't have babies as late you want. As a friend recently pointed out, "we're not men."

Having recently turned 27, this information is heavy on my mind (plus the ceaseless baby fever doesn't help). I also wouldn't say that many options are available to me. I choose to defer babies in favor of bringing them into the world at a later time when the husband and I are more stable and more prepared, but I can't help but wonder. . .

What if I wait too long?

one bag at a time

2007-08-21T07:26:00.000-07:00

So last night I went to the store. I bought three bottles of juice, a jar of salsa, a tube of lip balm and some bulk rice and barley.

When I got to the check stand I asked the checker to put all of the items in one bag. My specific request was "go ahead and put it in one bag and I'll just be really careful."

After the adorable ten-year-old checker started putting items in the bag he said, "I'll make sure to double this for you."

I started to protest but decided against it.

Then when he lifted the bag up he said, "oh, I better triple this."

And he did.

So much for saving the environment one plastic shopping bag at a time. I guess that's what I get for forgetting my re-usable shopping bag at home.

a word on the law

2007-08-20T17:11:00.000-07:00

Dear Guy on Hwy 8 E.,

I can't remember what you were driving but I do remember that you were practically on my bumper. I remember that I was going exactly 40 mph as I was legally instructed to do. I remember that you swerved dramatically into the left lane to pass me at exactly the second I passed the 50 mph hour sign. Yeah, you may remember gesturing at me because I sped up as you were passing. Your gesture made me think that you believed I was somehow in the wrong. I'm sorry that you are a jerk who doesn't deserve a license, but that sign, much like the previous one that you had chosen to ignore, granted me the right to go 10 mph faster.

It seems like everyone in the world wants to go as fast as they possibly can and act like I'm a horrible person for obeying the law. And let me be clear, I occasionally go up to 5 mph over the speed limit, so I play this game too, but I don't believe I have the right to get mad at the person who goes exactly the speed limit. This is comparable to 14 people in a 15 person class deciding to cheat on an exam and then getting angry with the one guy who actually studied and doesn't need to cheat.

On more than one occasion I have been told that it is unsafe to go the speed limit when everyone around me is speeding. I've decided I want proof of this. Prove to me that I am safer by breaking the law just because everyone else is, because not dying is waay more important to me than getting to the stoplight before someone else.

I drive now. I can't go back, but every day I am reminded of why I never wanted to get behind the wheel.

And you, Guy on Hwy 8 E., are just one of those countless reminders. I'm not sure what you intended with your gesture, but you make me feel scared for myself and sorry for you, because it must be hard to be so stupid.

Have a lovely day and remember, drive safe.

~ From: Girl going the speed limit in a red truck.

a few words on the midwest

2007-08-19T16:47:00.000-07:00

In Indiana we got to meet many relatives on both sides of my family. My mom grew up near Crown Point, Ind., and my dad's family also lived there so he moved back and forth a lot between Crown Point and Gary. This was the first visit anyone in my immediate family had made in 24 years. Talk about strange! In addition to seeing where my parents grew up, we drove up to Lake Michigan and went wading because we hadn't thought to bring swimsuits.

In Chicago we visited Grant Park, Buckingham Fountain, the Field Museum of Natural History, the Museum of Contemporary Photography, Millennium Park, the Cultural Center, Daly Plaza & the Picasso, the Historic Water Tower, the John Hancock Center Observatory, the Magnificent Mile, the Lincoln Park Zoo, Lake Michigan, Vince, the Newberry Library, Navy Pier, and the Museum of Science & Industry. We did all of this in three days. Some places, like Grant Park, Millennium Park and the Water Tower, we visited more than once.

I took a ton of photos . Note: The album is totally mixed up.

ambition is not what it seems

2007-08-13T19:38:00.000-07:00

August has begun and is nearly half over and I've yet to review my July progress toward fulfilling my 11 ambitions. (I do this for my own benefit rather than for the interest of readership, so I do apologize.)

I'm not really sure what happened to July, or for that matter the first half of August. I know I have been eating a ton of sugar and I came back from Chicago weighing 5 pounds more than when I left which means I have gained back all 10 of the pounds I lost earlier this year. I still feel pretty fit though, so I think it may have been muscle gain, but still!

Other than the fact that I have now traveled to Boise and the midwest and am planning a trip (for work) to Las Vegas in December and to Germany later that month, I haven't made much progress.

I still have 4.5 months to scratch off the remaining 6 ambitions. I'll get there. Next year I will have on resolution, just one.

1. Better nutrition.
2. Start exercising regularly.
3. Lose ten pounds.
~~4. Floss.~~
5. Volunteer.
~~6. Donate.~~
~~7. Get my license.~~
8. Be more financially responsible.
9. Communicate.
~~10. Travel.~~
~~11. Move.~~

a big car

2007-07-30T12:16:00.000-07:00

My mother came to visit last week.

(When I say it like that is sounds like a bad thing, but really it wasn’t, we had a fantastic time.) Because the ol’ truck only has two seat belts, we had to rent a car in order to sightsee. I did some research and found Thrifty to be the most economical option.

I reserved a compact car and was looking forward to testing out a new car for that day far in the future when the husband and I finally make the leap from owning a rather unfortunate-looking, but sturdy and reliable truck, with no car payment, to owning a suburban-appropriate car with all the latest safety features and fancy things like power windows and locks and a car payment to go along with it.

When we got to the rental place they informed me that they didn’t have any compact cars and so we had been upgraded to a Chrysler 300. I asked innocently, “Is that a big car?” The clerk looked at me like I had just asked if the sky was blue. “You’ve never seen one before?” he asked, absolutely incredulous.

Suffice to say, it is a big car and there are two stereotypes associated with it and I fit neither.

So that was the car. I put more than 400 miles on it in four days and I sat in about 10 hours worth of stop-and-go traffic. (Ikea is now a four letter word in more than one sense.) If it hadn’t had such a beautiful turning radius, I would never have been able to park it. If it hadn’t had power seats, I wouldn’t have been able to see past the hood. If it hadn’t had satellite radio … well, I would have used the CD player.

To tell you the truth, I miss it a little.

the final chapter

2007-07-23T07:50:00.000-07:00

So, as you may know, I am a Harry Potter addict. I, like literally millions of others around the world, attempted to purchase the final volume of witchcraft and wizardry at midnight on Friday, but the local bookstore was sold out. So, I waited 'til the next afternoon and headed to Powells City of Books to purchase it with two birthday gift cards from fabulous friends.

I immediately managed to sneak in 200 pages between a myriad of other activities before headed into fitful sleep with dreams set against a magical and slightly sinister background.

Sunday I woke up early and conquered another 70 pages or so before I headed off for a hike at the new state park (which, incidentally, I found rather lackluster). After the hike my plan was to read one chapter and then wash the dishes and then read one more chapter and then go to the grocery store.

The afternoon didn't go quite as I planned -- I barely moved from 1pm to 7pm, but as the weekend turned to dusk, I closed the final cover of the Harry Potter epic. 759 pages in just over 24 hours. A record, even for me. (And, I did do the dishes and the groceries, after.)

Yet, now it's over. And no one else is finished.

Get crackin' people, I need to discuss!

a tashy question

2007-07-16T17:36:00.000-07:00

I've been thinking about trash a lot lately. Someone told me about this super sustainable family that only throws out one bag of trash per year. How is this even possible?

We are diligent recyclers and the husband is a freak about compost, so we toss about half a bag of trash each week. This seems really good, but not in comparison to one per year! And I am on a constant crusade to eliminate not only our trash, but our refuse in general. I realized when I visited the recycling plant last year that even recycling is refuse. Better than trash, but still not optimal.

I am begining to realize is that in order to limit trash to one bag per year, you would have to stop being a consumer. Every thing comes with packaging and gets placed into a plastic or paper bag and with a paper receipt. (And then there's the energy it takes to get to the store, but this post is about garbage, not gas.) How does one become less of a consumer? Every day I think of at least three objects I want to buy, plus probably a dozen food products.

I think back to one of my favorite stories of all times, "Little House in the Big Woods." Laura and the fam didn't have trash pick-up. They were happy going to the store once per year. Everything about their lives was sustainable. (Except for the part where Pa & Co. were systematically logging the Big Woods.)

So, here is my dilemma: Why do I feel like my choice is to live in the woods and sew all of my own clothes and grow all of my own food or be a horrible wasteful consumer tossing out bags of trash and pounds of recycling every week?

how to be thinner, healthier & happier?

2007-07-12T12:45:00.000-07:00

Latley, I haven't been doing well in my quest to eat better and be healthier. I find myself struggling with conflicting truths and worries. Given everything I know everything I aspire toward, just seems too hard. Here it is:

What I know to be true in the quest to be thinner and healthier:

Start the day off with a huge, healthy breakfast. Make sure to include whole grains and healthy fats. Avoid empty calories in pastries and cereals. Avoid sugar.
With the right breakfast one shouldn't get hungry until lunchtime unless they are doing some major physical activity. If snack cravings attack drink something, and by something I mean a zero calorie drink water being the most obvious and healthiest option. If one is still hungry, have a healthy snack. Fresh vegetables, raw nuts, fruit -- all healthy snack options.
At lunch time remember whole grains, healthy fats and proteins and bring on the vegetables. Fruit is good too. If one drinks something with one's lunch, make sure it's zero calorie.
Repeat lunchtime guidelines at dinner. Stop eating at a specified time -- usually about three hours before sleep. This will help very much to put one in the mood for a big breakfast.
Take vitamins, drink lots of water, avoid processed foods and bad fats (saturated and trans), limit sugar intake as much as possible to fruit sugar (the body doesn't know the difference between fruit sugar and cane sugar, but at least with fruit you get additional nutrients and fiber), eat whole grains (stop considering white flour and white rice food -- these are not food -- all the nutrition has been removed), remember to eat lots and lots of vegetables of varying types.

What I am not sure of when it comes to being healthier:

Caffeine is horribly detrimental to the human body.
Carbonation causes loss of bone density.
Soy causes breast cancer.
One needs to eat lots and lots and lots of calcium to avoid osteoporosis.
One needs to eat lots and lots and lots of iron from animal sources to avoid anemia.

What I know to be true in the quest for happiness:

Soda makes me really really happy.
Sugar makes me really really happy.
Salt and fat is a nice combination that makes my tongue happy, especially combined with starch.
Ice cream is a fabulous creation, especially on a hot summer day.
Getting to buy a smaller pants size is one of the greatest joys known to woman (and probably man too).
There is a peace of mind that can only come from knowing that you are doing everything you can to avoid diabetes, obesity, heart disease, cancer, osteoporosis, birth defects and general unhealthiness.
It is much easier to eat what you see available in the fridge than it is to cook a meal.
It is much easier to go out than it is to pack a lunch.

Reasons to Love Portland: #72, #71 & #70

2007-07-11T17:39:00.000-07:00

As you know, I've just had a birthday. I've also had a massive falling out with my kitchen and definitely turned my back on the wisdom of Walter Willett & Co.

What I am trying to say is that over the past month I have been consuming massive quantities of sugar. I've eaten all sorts of things that I never thought I'd touch again, given my "ambitions." I've eaten Grandma's Cookies and Famous Amos Cookies (and a whole lot of other cookies, notably a very delicious one from Sip & Kranz), I've eaten a Milky Way and countless packets of M&M's, regular, peanut and dark. I've eaten dessert after dessert and as a result I developed a short list of places to get awesome dessert in the City of Roses.

# 72: Le Happy
Regular readers might remember Le Happy as the creperie where the husband met his long-lost cousin over The Game of Life. Le Happy is also the source of unbelievably decadent crepes. I can not begin to tell you how much your mouth will water after you taste the crepes at Le Happy. You will need to go back. Again. And again. I recommend "the fromage" for the savory and the fudge brownie for "the sweet." Le Happy also has a fair list of beers, wine and other drinks for those who prefer to drink their dessert. If you're in the mood for something wacky and hip, Le Happy is the place to go.

# 71: Papa Hayden
I have been hearing about Papa Hayden for as long as I've lived in Portland metro (and we are rapidly approaching my 8-year anniversary with this fine metropolis), but I had never been until my birthday. I just wanted cake and ice cream and Papa Hayden delivered. I had a huge slab of the triple chocolate cake with a scoop of vanilla ice cream added special and a candle. (An aside: I blew out candles three times this year, which has to be a record, and forgot to make wishes every time.) The cake was dreamy. I couldn't finish it all, and in an effort to be conscious of my desire to go down a pants size - not up- I didn't take the last of it with me. I so regretted that the next morning! The friends who drink their desserts were able to do so here as well. If you're in the mood for Portland posh, check out Papa Hayden.

#70: Pix Patisserie
Oh Pix, how I love thee. If for nothing else than for the sound of your name. I had been to Pix before for lunch, but hadn't sampled their delicious and eclectic desserts. I did used to peer in the window at the Division location. It was worth the wait. I had a tiny slice of almond paste and chocolate which, though it was unbelievably tasty, was so perfectly small, I didn't feel the slightest bit guilty about eating it. The friends had equally delicious treats. If you're in the mood for an unlikely combination concocted into an amazing dessert, try out Pix Patisserie.

a few words about baby fever

2007-07-07T23:54:00.000-07:00

All my life I've heard people say things like, "well her biological clock was ticking and she was ready to have a baby." All my life I assumed that these women consciously realized that they were getting older and consciously decided that it was time to have a baby. Yeah, I was really, really wrong.

"Her biological clock was ticking" is really a tidy way of saying that her hormones were out of control and she felt an uncontrollable urge to have a child, beyond all reason or logic. Basically she's in baby hell.

Her hormones don't care if circumstances prevail that prevent her from bringing a child in to the world in good conscience. Her hormones don't care that still rents and her finances are a mess and she's downright positive she's not getting enough folic acid and she says "hate" way to much. Her hormones don't care that her vehicle only has two seat belts and no possible way of fitting a car seat in safely. Her hormones don't care that she still wants to achieve many things in her career, as does the husband. Her hormones don't care that she eats Chinese food and chocolate for breakfast and is absolutely not ready to start making nutrition decisions for two. Her hormones don't care that she has every intention of doing some major traveling involving airplanes in the next few years. Her hormones don't care how much she loves to sleep. (A very big detail that the hormones are simply ignoring.) Her hormones especially don't care that she's pretty sure she's not ready to double in size just yet. Her hormones don't care about logic and reason.

Her hormones do care about babies however. They rage when she's the telltale bump on beautiful petite women in the grocery store. They rage when she's sees newborn infants all red and wrinkled. They rage when she sees darling baby clothes in Target. They rage when she plays with toddlers and when she watches kids get excited about fireworks. They rage when she sees families in the park and when she sees cars with "baby on board" stickers (even though she secretly thinks those stickers are kind of dumb). They rage when she thinks about how babies smell and feel and how helpless and loving they are. The rage when she sees how much children love and need their mothers. And they rage pretty much all of the rest of the time too.

Yes, she's in baby hell. And she is very, very frustrated that no one warned her that this would happen.

11 wonderful things about twenty-seven

2007-07-06T16:08:00.000-07:00

1. A pre-birthday trip to the beach.
2. The Traveling Wilburies Vol. 1 & 3 rereleased in time for purchase by the husband for my birthday.
3. Shiny red flats from the husband who recognizes that although I already own red flats, they are not shiny.
4. One-hour birthday pedicure. (I can't stop looking at my toes!)
5. Birthday lunch at Phil's 700 Subs with co-workers even though I'm on vacation.
6. Birthday latte from S.
7. Birthday cake, ice cream and cappuccino at Papa Hayden with fabulous friends.
8. Birthday letter, complete with Beatles lyrics from little sister.
9. Birthday package of vegetarian cookbooks from mom.
10. Post-birthday lunch at P.F. Changs with mom-in-law and granny.
11. Treats yet to come, post birthday barbecue with in-laws, post-birthday dinner with more fabulous friends and post-birthday bike ride. (Oh, and the year yet to come, of course)

Addendums to wonderful things:
1. I have awesome friends who made this birthday great. Quite frankly I was postive that it would suck since the husband has been working so much and I miss him. (On that note, he has also been wonderful, when we've seen each other.)
2. I was horribly remiss in not mentioning the very, very perfect bag that D. made me for my birthday. I pretty much haven't stopped using it since I got it.

driving to learn

2007-07-02T17:30:00.000-07:00

I am currently struggling through a fog that can only come from a three-day weekend.

I had Friday off to make up for the mad overtime necessitated by Reunion. (By the way, thanks for good weather thoughts, the rain did hold off until Sunday!) I drove in to Portland and successfully parked at Widmer Bros. Gausthaus where I had a fantastic lunch with my former co-worker A. We had to dish about our respective Reunions and get ideas for Reunion 2008, which is coming up sooner than one would think. Did you realize that in about five seconds it will be the third weekend of June 2008? Yeah, it will.

After lunch I drove around like a crazy woman trying to find a Starbucks because I desperatley needed a bathroom and I, being not quite as smart as I could have been, chose not to use the bathroom at Widmer before getting in the car. One bathroom stop and one tall, iced soy latte later and I was on my way to SE 80th to visit my friend D. We spent the afternoon shopping and I fell in love with a green-with-brown-cabbage flowers, strapless dress at Macy's. Alas, I have no place to wear a green-with-brown-cabbage flowers, strapless dress. I did, however, find a fabulous pair of brown cropped trousers on sale at Ann Taylor Loft. Ahh, it's nice to be a girl!

Saturday I woke up feeling like I should go to the wedding of A. & J. We were invited some time ago. We bought a gift. I thought about RSVP-ing. Then suddenly it was the day of the wedding and the husband had to work. I decided to be very, very brave and drive two hours to the wedding by myself. Not wanting to take the freeway, I took advantage of the wonders of Google and used non-freeway driving instructions.

Wow! What a drive. Hairpin turns, bumpy, narrow, winding roads. 10 mph signs. And I had to be ever vigilant as to not miss one of the 23 necessary turns. But there were also stunning views of the Yamhill Valley and I was constantly reminded of how lucky I am to live in Oregon. I arrived 13 minutes late, but the ceremony hadn't started. It was lovely, the bride was beautiful, the groom looked jubilant (and a tiny bit nervous), the readings were touching, the weather cooperated. Absolutely perfect wedding. I had a great time and then I took the freeway home.

Sunday I cleaned house. Then, because I hadn't gotten enough driving in on Friday and Saturday, and because I was feeling remarkably confident I decided to dash to Hillsboro to run some errands. As I was pulling up to my driveway my phone rang. I don't normally answer while driving, but I was so close to home. It was a telemarketer from Portland Center Stage. (They have the nicest telemarketers.) While I was explaining to her why I couldn't buy a season package and why I didn't have time to talk, I pulled in to the driveway, turned off the ignition, put the car in park after it started to roll down the driveway, took the keys out of the ignition and tossed them in to my purse, got out of the car and locked the door as I closed it. Notice I didn't say, "picked up my purse?" Yep. Keys successfully locked in car.

I then walked in the slightly chilly dusk in a t-shirt and flip-flops the entire mile to the husband's work where I retrieved a key and borrowed his bike to ride home and rescue the groceries. On the bright side a perfect stranger who was drinking a beer in his front yard asked me if any one had told me lately how "foxy" I am.

And this is why my head is in a fog today.

why so ambitious?

2007-07-01T22:41:00.000-07:00

Um, since I've been locked out of my house twice in the last week, I've gotten good excersice walking/biking to and from the husband's work. I still donate, I still floss. I still have my license. I've still moved.

I wish I could show the italics going the other way to symbolize an absolute lack of financial responsibility over the last month. We're getting better though. I bought a file cabinet. This will solve everything. Really, it has been not being able file our bills that has caused us to not pay them. (Actually, it has been some serious miscommunication between yours truly and the husband, but we're getting better.)

I also wish I could reverse italics on the "better nutrition." You do not want to know how badly I have been eating. When self-righteous dieters fall, they really fall.

But, this was June, it is not my best month. It is consumed with work. July is a much better month. I will accomplish things in July. Really. I will.

1. Better nutrition.
2. Start exercising regularly.
3. Lose ten pounds.
~~4. Floss.~~
5. Volunteer.
~~6. Donate.~~
~~7. Get my license.~~
8. Be more financially responsible.
9. Communicate.
10. Travel.
~~11. Move.~~

a very small request

2007-06-19T17:37:00.000-07:00

Dear World,

Please help a girl out and think some good thoughts. I need for everyone to think good thoughts for sunny weather. I need for it NOT to rain this weekend in the Portland metro area. Right now the forecast is calling for rain and I simply can not have that. I'd prefer for it not to be 108 degrees like it was a year ago this weekend, but rain is simply unacceptable. If anyone has a direct line to Mother Nature, do let her know that rain really can wait until Sunday afternoon. I will gladly embrace rain on Sunday, just not Thursday, Friday or Saturday.

Thank you.

politically incorrect or pop culture?

2007-06-17T21:18:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I used the term "white trash." Harmless? Horrible?

I'm not sure I've used this term more than half a dozen times, but every time I do, I am overwhelmed with guilt. It seems wrong. It seems like a slur. Yet it's a part of the popular vocabulary. Today while I was walking through a sporting good store I saw a t-shirt that boasted the words. I hear it on tv. People who I consider good people use it all the time.

Wikipedia informs me that the term arose "among African Americans in urban Baltimore, Maryland. Free and enslaved blacks used the term to disparage poor whites, especially Irish immigrants and other semiskilled workers." Wikipedia also states, "Permissive attitudes toward this phrase have softened somewhat in recent years and recently some have self-described themselves as 'white trash.'"

At the same time Wikipedia offers this definition,"White trash is a derogatory term with a classist component targeted at white people and connoting low social status or poor prospects (i.e., downward mobility) or lack of education."

Ouch! I do feel bad when I read it that way. Pop culture says it's okay to use it, but I wonder history will look back with shame on our liberal use of the term. I can think of a few other slurs that used to be part of the common vocabulary and I'm not sure if I want to look back in 30 years and feel shame.

So, tell me, is it a slur or is it just harmless phrase?

fun and productive weekend, take two

2007-06-10T21:08:00.000-07:00

Friday I took the MAX in to Portland to see my friend M. play in the Concert at the Park, part of the Rose Festival festivities. She plays tenor sax in the One More Time Around Again Marching Band. I met up with J., M.'s husband, and some of his friends. Afterward we all went to the Laurelwood Pub on NW 23rd and Kearney. M. and the husband met us there. After the Laurelwood was starting to close (at 11:00!) we headed over to Le Happy for crepes and drinks. M. and I were talking work talk while the guys played the game of life. At one point the husband mentioned his last name, which prompted C., who we had been hanging out with all night, to realize that he was the husband's cousin! They are second cousins because they share great-grandparents. What a bizarre twist to the evening!

Saturday we slept in and then went to matinée, such a good use of a rainy Saturday afternoon. [Aside: You would think that a movie called "Knocked Up," which is about a beautiful, successful young woman who gets pregnant with a drug addicted, unemployed and overweight illegal alien, would make one not want to have babies. Yet, one forgets one thing, our heroine is beautiful. So when she gets pregnant she becomes even more beautiful. Then she gives birth to a ridiculously beautiful baby and every one lives happily ever after. Freakin' ridiculous.] After the movies the husband and I made some significant progress on cleaning our office before he had to go study with schoolmates. I dropped him off and then visited the ol' Target to do some wedding registry shopping. Afterward we realized we had time to make it to Portland to have dinner and drinks at Roadside Attraction with friends who are leaving a for a long vacation this week and some who aren't. Another late night.

Sunday, today, we again slept in. The husband woke me to suggest we go for a hike at Hagg Lake in the afternoon. Hagg Lake is kind of an easy place to do in-and-out hiking hear home, but unless one has the time to hike all the way around the lake, it's not very strenuous. We decided to drive up to the Coastal Range and hike the Elk Mountain trail. This was an intense hike with promise for stunning views of the mountains. Unfortunately it was raining off and on, so the views were just pretty good, rather than stunning, and the trail was pretty overgrown. By the time we got to our payoff we were soaked to the skin and it was starting to rain much harder. We decided to forgo the summit, even though we were close, and head home. Rain and all, it was an awesome hike. I had high ambitions for productivity, but I ended up crawling in to bed with a book. (Yeah, I took a four-hour nap.) Now, I have about ninety minutes to cram some "productive" things in this weekend. Wish me luck!

good angel, bad angel and the donut in between

2007-06-05T11:59:00.000-07:00

Have I ever mentioned how much I love donuts? I love the kind you buy in the bakery section at the grocery store. I love the kind they sell in the pastry case at coffee shops. I even love the kind Hostess makes that they sell in a cellophane tube and call donettes. I love donuts.

Here's the problem. I've made a decision to eat only foods that provide dense nutritional value. Vegetables, whole grains, fruit, healthy fats and protein, and of course, dark chocolate. Of course, I can indulge once in a while, but the point is to not eat a whole bunch of garbage that tastes good, but doesn't have much nutritional value.

Well, donuts have no nutritional value. Zero. Nada. Zip. Not a bit. They should have never been invented because as far as the body is concerned, they are poison, not food. This puts them in the same category as potato chips, candy, and sugared soda. Bad for the teeth, bad for the heart, but for insulin levels. Bad, Bad, Bad.

Yet they taste so good, good, good.

I should feel good right now, because I ate an incredibly healthy breakfast and I resisted the donuts at the staff meeting this morning. My lunch is as equally healthy as it is delicious. And the husband will prepare dinner tonight, making it taste more lovely than anything, because it will require no work on my part. I love what I eat and I look forward to eating, yet I am downright angry right now.

I really wanted a donut!

fun and productive weekend

2007-06-04T20:25:00.000-07:00

Friday afternoon the husband and I joined up with the alternative commuting group from my work. We biked from campus to my boss's house in Hillsboro and had a wonderful meal of grilled vegetables and tabbouleh salad. (Also yummy cheese and rice crackers and delicious iced tea.) The meat eaters ate some sort of meat ... chicken I think. It was lovely. Afterward the husband and I biked home. In all it was about 15 miles and some of that was in the dark dark dark.
Saturday I drove in to Portland for some Random Nonsense. D. and I biked to paperdoll, a "paperie, art supply store and school" on SE Stark. We also enjoyed iced coffees at the Bipartisan Café. After we were sufficiently inspired and caffeinated we headed back to her place for card making fun. I managed to make three cards before my stomach wouldn't allow me to concentrate. We enjoyed a dinner the very enthusiastic Sivalayan Thai Restaurant. After dinner we worked off the calories by walking briskly to the top of Mt. Tabor.

Sunday we were up early(ish) for birthday shopping for the husband's dad. I was about to give up when I remembered he mentioned that he'd like to go camping, but would require a cot. (One cot purchased.) In the afternoon I enjoyed the coolness of our house and cleaned and made a tasty salad for birthday dinner. We drove 1.5 hours to Oregon City for a delicious dinner prepared by my fabulous sister-in-law, which included, but was not limited to, an amazing chocolate mouse made from silken tofu and dark chocolate. After chatting for 1.5 hours the husband said it was time to get back in the car because he had homework. 1.5 hours more of driving (+ time to shop for $60 worth of essentials at Target) and we were home again.

I think it's easier to come to work on Monday if a fun and productive weekend is behind me. So much better than sleeping all day!

little change of ambition

2007-06-01T07:39:00.000-07:00

June has begun. With a new month comes a new chance to redeem myself in my quest to accomplish my Ambitions for 2007. (Seriously, I am beginning to hate myself for setting these goals and then trying to stick with them.)

May was a disaster when it came to ambitions. The one thing I was doing well up until May was pay attention to my nutrition. Yikes, May was a minefield of temptation and I failed to resist. As a result I gained five pounds, no big deal, but I've bought yet another book that has me motivated and I'm confident I'll get my nutrition skills back.

I've decided to count buying renter's insurance in the category of financial responsibility, though I can't actually take credit because the husband took care of it.

So here's the list, with those that I have made progress toward and those that I have ~~accomplished~~.

1. Better nutrition.
2. Start exercising regularly.
3. Lose ten pounds.
~~4. Floss.~~
5. Volunteer.
~~6. Donate.~~
~~7. Get my license.~~
8. Be more financially responsible.
9. Communicate.
10. Travel.
~~11. Move.~~

happy thoughts

2007-05-30T22:23:00.000-07:00

The sun finally started to shine.

This morning I dropped my 100% whole wheat homemade toast (with smart balance spread and low sugar jam) on to the floor. It landed jam side up.

Later this morning I realized that when you delete the spam from gmail it says “Hooray, No Spam Here!

At lunch I made a cute card today because a co-worker had a little boy last week.

I had a tiny work crisis today, but it got resolved quickly and afterward I went to Starbucks and bought an iced soy latte. Hooray for iced coffee drinks!

After work today I went to the Farmer's Market and they were playing Bob Dylan.

When I got home I made a delicious, nutritious dinner. Spinach salad with radishes and tomatoes and homemade vinaigrette. Quinoa with roasted asparagus, pepper and lime. For dessert I had fresh strawberries and bittersweet chocolate.

Farmer's Market strawberries are sweeter than chocolate. Farmer's Market radishes taste super spicy. Farmer's Market asparagus is crisp. Farmer's Market spinach is fresh. Hooray for food that hasn't been genetically modified!

The weekend is nearly here and I have fun plans!

And I posted to my photo blog for the first time since Halloween.

Happy May! Where did it go?